65 Bad Boyfriends Get Honest About What They Did To Drive Their Partners Away

I never used to say I love your or hold hands or be affectionate. I had a horrific trauma when I was younger that caused me to not like being touched very much.

In my current relationship I’ve made it a point to be affectionate and touchy feely, as this is the last time I’m going to have a relationship, whether it works out or not.
I’ve explained this to my partner too. It’s made me softer around the edges.

For most of my early relationships, I was at my worst when I realized that the relationship was going to end. When I sensed that one or both of us had fallen out of love or was no longer invested in the relationship, instead of just breaking up like I should, I started doing dumb things. Like with one woman who cheated on me, I started going through her phone while she was asleep. I realize now that if my trust issues were that bad, I should have just left. With someone else, I could tell that she had lost interest and was looking for the right time to break up with me, so I did things that made it harder for her to leave, like making serious/expensive plans with her months in advance. I should have just let her go. And at least once, when I knew I was no longer in love and wanted to leave, I stayed just because the intimate time was good. I still feel really bad about that because I was basically just using her for intimacy and I think she knew and just let it happen because she didn't want me to leave.

I was selfish.

I didn't give her the attention she deserved.

I didn't take her concerns as seriously as I should have.

I refused to admit that I needed to work on myself.

I said terrible things in arguments because my insecurity made me hurt.

If you still read my reddit account, I'm sorry. For everything. You weren't perfect, but I was worse. And I should have made every attempt you deserved to keep and earn your love. You deserved more from me, and I wish daily I could have seen it at the time.

I expected her to solve my depression. That wasn't her job.

I've only had one relationship, but expressing myself emotionally was a struggle.

I really couldn't express how I was feeling a lot of the time.

I couldn't share her interests at all. I'm a serious homebody and she likes dancing, clubbing, and all of that.

After my first Girlfriend cheated on me and messed me up big time. I was really jealous with my next Girlfriend. I ended up creating fake Instagram Accounts and texted her to see how she would interact with guys texting her.

She ended up finding out and broke up with me. I mean I would‘ve done the same.

Messed me up even more. After that I went to therapy and it got a lot better now.

Kinda nervous because current Girlfriend is leaving to study in Australia for a year. Hope that goes well.

I was a man-baby. Clinging on to my girlfriend for support, basically handing over to her all responsibility of dealing with my insecurities. Crying when things went wrong. Being extremely upset when she was obviously tired of it all, which she had every right to be. I was a jerk.

Trying not to be like this anymore, working on myself so that I take responsibility for my problems. Haven't tried dating again since the last few girls, but i think i'm at a place now where I could be a little more successful. Success requires failure. I just need to be independent.

I cringe when I think about it. I’m in my early 30’s now, but My first love/ longer term relationship in HS (little over a year long) was with a really beautiful girl. Literally a 9.5/10 both looks and personality, which was a bit out of my league for sure.

I was controlling and acted like a jealous weirdo. If she wore something too skimpy I’d call her out on it and guilt trip her into changing. I always wanted to know where she was or what she was planning on doing, what friends she was with etc. would text her a bunch when she wasn’t with me. typical over the top manipulating jealous bf behavior. I’d worry so much that she’d find someone better than me or that she’d cheat on me.

After I lost her, I realized how bad my behavior was and realized that it was due to my own insecurities. It’s not ok to do that to someone that you care about. I’ve never done that to another GF ever again and I seriously feel sickly embarrassed when I think back on it. If any younger guys read this, don’t make this mistake. It’s not worth spending any amount of energy worrying about things that are out of your control, or because of your own lack of trust/insecurities. You will lose her.

I have a problem losing interest in my gfs. Just recently ended things with my ex of 2+ years and been trying to get used to being comfortable alone. So I’m just gonna stay single, and work on myself until I cross paths with the right woman.

Long ago, I was a bad boyfriend to several girls because I wanted to be *nice* all the time. It was important to me that people thought I was nice. So when a relationship wasn't working out great, and it was time for us to move on, I didn't have the guts or true compassion to break things off. Because that wouldn't have been very nice. Instead I'd purposefully act aloof, or disinterested, or annoyed, in the hopes that the girl would get the hint. It must have been very confusing for them. Of course trying to be *nice* in this self-serving way was the exact opposite of kindness. I was afraid to hurt someone's feelings, and that cowardice caused even more hurt. I grew out of that eventually. But if someone's reading this and it hits close to home, think about this! Breakups suck but people get over them. Do the right thing and be honest to people!

I don't spend enough time to be in the moment with her. I spent too much time planning the future and getting the destinations that I don't stop and smell the flower along the way.

I'm usually a decent boyfriend, but I have had episodes of insecurity, clingyness and being emotionally unintelligent that ended up hurting my partner.

My first long relationship ended on a bad note because I was too much of a coward to break up when I saw it wasn't working anymore, so we kept it going until we snapped and it ended in tears and slammed doors.

Also this summer I was a jerk to a girl that really wanted to be with me, but I only saw her as a rebound. I didn't treat her like dirt, but I found myself being emotionally distant and not affectionate enough as I would be to someone I really like. Even though she knew what I felt, I still feel like I led her on and should've just stayed single.

Those are 2 episodes I'm really ashamed of, the rest were just awkward moments of me being an bumbling idiot. Thesr happened very often in bed.

Not opening up enough, saying "I love you", or being emotionally 100% in. I've been in 3 or 4 relationships up to 1 year in length, but I've never been in love, although they have. I've always been a "good" boyfriend, but I've never been able to give all that I want to give and fully commit. I always thought about buying "just because flowers" on my way to their apt but never did, because it felt too serious. I always wanted to say "I love you" but I never felt like it was 100% genuine, or maybe I just wasn't ready for the implications (i.e. that this is now a very serious relationship and we now *have to* get married or go through a devastating break up). I don't know. I don't think I have a good understanding of what being in love truly means.

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I'm starting therapy next week to try to figure out how I can get over this hump and be the boyfriend (or husband) I want to be.

My inability to be vulnerable really puts me in positions to be a jerk. I can’t and don’t reciprocate feelings and simple things in a relationship. Girls love me at first, only at first.

I

* lied
* manipulated
* insulted
* hurt/offended
* neglected

her. She wasn't a saint, but she deserved something better than I offered her. Bless her soul, she was a genuine good person, she just met me at the wrong time. I feel bad about the whole thing and in retrospect, the best moments were getting together and breaking up. Too much lows and the highs didn't justify the hurt.

I'm only glad it's over bc I learned a lot throughout the whole process. But I regret not growing with her, listening to her goals and passions. Instead I tried to "guide her", as if I knew best. It was the blind leading the blind at that point.

Couldn't bring myself to actually end the relationship and just sort of grenaded it from the inside. It's my biggest regret, she was an amazing woman.

Didnt call, show emotions, understand the situation, gave off the wrong vibe...

All those things happened, because I learned what I have to/should do, but the female parthers had much more experoences with those things, thus I gave off a player vibe in their words.

The biggest issue was communication, but on both sides, except they all wanted to talk when it was over and not durring, which kinda explained why they were the way they were and I was just another one of those that didnt catch how ooobviously they were giving me signals.

Not playing those games ever again. Intimacy is great, but being stress and at ease is something I value more these days.

I’m an emotionally closed off person, incredibly lazy, and back then I was even more of a shut-in back then than now. With that mix of things I think it’s plain to see I wasn’t fit for a relationship (and prolly still ain’t).

Too controlling. Trust issues. Not realizing how great it was at the time and regretting it daily now that I don't have it.

I was a jerk of a boyfriend to "the one that got away", the love of my life. We were together for 6 years, and while we had our ups and downs, things really came to a head after my grandpa passed, as we were incredibly close. I began lashing out over *everything*, and i was stuck in a rut like that for a couple months. We went to a convention together, we got back, and she realized she just wasnt sure if we were meant for eachother.

I. Flipped. Out.

Nothing physical, but it was a loud enough argument that the cops were called by the neighbors for a domestic dispute. She left the next morning, went no contact with me a month after. My little brother wound up passing away not long after, and i wanted to just end it. If i had found out my I would lose my dad i probably would have. I continued a downard spiral for a month or so after. Started drinking heavily and abusing opiates. Failed an entire semester of college.

Anyway, because of my brothers passing, my father's work had provided him with the offer of family therapy, went and talked to the shrink a couple of times, and they basically said that i was above their pay grade and referred me to a specialist.

Turns out i have narcissistic personality disorder, ADHD, and depression. Been working on being better and committing to doing things ive always wanted to do, such as drawing, and playing piano, and trying to get back in contact with my ex. She really was perfect in almost every way, and i hope that all this self improvement might show her that I'm not the same.