You know how they say that laughter prolongs life? Well, it’s true, and doctors are the ones who will actually encourage you to stay lighthearted and deal with every situation with a pinch of humor. That doesn’t mean ignoring your health though. Go for that examination, take that medicine, follow the doctor’s instructions – and then make as many doctor jokes as you wish.
Doctors themselves have a great, if a little morbid, sense of humor. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift.
If someone you know is going through a recovery process, a bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate. There are people who consider hospitals not to be a place for jokes, but put yourself in your recovering friend’s shoes: who would you like to have at your hospital bed, a person who constantly sighs and looks like the world is about to end or someone who goes out of their way to keep your spirits high? Yeah, I thought so too. Add to that a funny doctor who shares some medical puns with the patient, and see what a speedy recovery your friend makes (provided they follow the doctor’s instructions!).
Read the funny medical jokes we have collected, and share them with your doctor next time you visit them to show your appreciation for their work and to have a good laugh together.
#141
"I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. She told me to stop going to those places."
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#142
What did the balloon say to the doctor?
“I feel light-headed.”
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#143
Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
He had low elf esteem.
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#144
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It thought it had a terminal illness.
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#145
A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of cough syrup.
Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks, “Well? Are you still coughing?”
The patient replies, “No, I’m afraid to.”
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#146
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m turning into curtains.”
Doctor: “Pull yourself together!”
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#147
Why did the calendar have to visit the doctor?
It had a terrible year-ache.
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#148
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog.”
Doctor: “How long have you felt like this?”
Patient: “Since I was a puppy.”
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#149
"I still remember the day the doctor told me I was mute. I had no words."
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#150
Patient: “Will this ointment clear up my spots?”
Doctor: “I never make rash promises.”
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#151
Patient: “Doctor, I think I’ve been bitten by a vampire.”
Doctor: “Drink this glass of water.”
Patient: “Will it make me better?”
Doctor: “No, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.”
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#152
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot.”
Doctor: “Don’t get yourself in a stew.”
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#153
Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?
The hip consultant.
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#154
A man goes into the doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I’ve swallowed a watch. What should I do?”
“Take these pills,” says the doctor. “They should help you pass the time.”
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#155
A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionist’s desk at a doctor’s office.
“Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday,” she complained.
The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. “I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing,” he said. “Why do you think it was taken here?”
“After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.”
“I think,” explained the surgeon gently, “that means your cataract operation was a success.”
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#156
Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned!
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#157
A mother took her daughter to the doctor to discuss the girl’s strange eating habits.
“All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?”
“Eventually,” said the doctor. “She will rise and shine.”
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#158
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
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#159
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
For one, you get treatment; for the other, you get oinkment.
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#160
Did you hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian?
Apparently, it’s all about the delivery for some people.
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