You know how they say that laughter prolongs life? Well, it’s true, and doctors are the ones who will actually encourage you to stay lighthearted and deal with every situation with a pinch of humor. That doesn’t mean ignoring your health though. Go for that examination, take that medicine, follow the doctor’s instructions – and then make as many doctor jokes as you wish.
Doctors themselves have a great, if a little morbid, sense of humor. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift.
If someone you know is going through a recovery process, a bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate. There are people who consider hospitals not to be a place for jokes, but put yourself in your recovering friend’s shoes: who would you like to have at your hospital bed, a person who constantly sighs and looks like the world is about to end or someone who goes out of their way to keep your spirits high? Yeah, I thought so too. Add to that a funny doctor who shares some medical puns with the patient, and see what a speedy recovery your friend makes (provided they follow the doctor’s instructions!).
Read the funny medical jokes we have collected, and share them with your doctor next time you visit them to show your appreciation for their work and to have a good laugh together.
#101
Patient: “Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?”
Doctor: “Use a pencil until I come see him.”
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#102
Why didn’t Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough?
A cold never bothered her, anyway.
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#103
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
He wasn’t peeling well.
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#104
"Two years ago, my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven’t heard from him since."
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#105
What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine?
A pair o’ docs.
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#106
What’s the best place to hide from a doctor?
The apple orchard.
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#107
Jerry is in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
“I’m OK, but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.
“What did he say?” asked the nurse.
“OOPS!”
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#108
Doctor: “I accidentally left my gloves inside your stomach during your operation. We have to open you back up.”
Patient: “Are you kidding me?! Tell you what, take this $10 bill and buy a new pair!”
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#109
A bicycle rolls into the doctor’s office. It says, “Doc, you gotta help me! I can’t keep from yawning all day long.”
The doctor says, “Well, I think it’s because you’re two tired.”
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#110
A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem.
The doctor asks, “How often do you pass gas?” and the man replies "10 to 15 times an hour."
The doctor goes back to his office and returns with a pole with an iron hook.
The man screams, “What are you going to do with that, Doc?”
The doctor replies, “I’m going to open some windows.”
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#111
Doctors ask you where it hurts, but then put pressure on it.
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#112
A dermatologist makes a fortune selling skin cream and runs off with the money.
Rumor has it he was last spotted on his way to a topical island.
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#113
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
He was feeling really crumby.
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#114
"My kid’s pediatrician canceled my appointment because I was five minutes late. He has very little patients."
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#115
Doctor: “You’re as healthy as a horse!”
Jimmy: “That’s great!”
Doctor: “A horse with kidney stones.”
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#116
What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?
Shady’s back.
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#117
Why did the doctor laugh at the x-ray of an arm?
Because he found the x-ray humerus.
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#118
A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet.
"My cat is very fat," she says.
"Alright," says the vet. "I will look at him."
The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. Then she looks at its eyes. Then into its ears.
Finally, she turns to the girl and says, "I'm very sorry. I'm going to have to put your cat down."
"Oh no! Because he's so fat?"
"Yes, says the doctor. My arms are very tired."
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#119
A doctor gets a phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his wife.
"We need a 4th for poker"
"I'll be right over" says the doctor.
"Is it serious?" His wife asks when she notices him quickly putting on his coat.
"Oh yes... there are 3 other doctors there already."
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#120
“Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Great! I never could before!”
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