You know how they say that laughter prolongs life? Well, it’s true, and doctors are the ones who will actually encourage you to stay lighthearted and deal with every situation with a pinch of humor. That doesn’t mean ignoring your health though. Go for that examination, take that medicine, follow the doctor’s instructions – and then make as many doctor jokes as you wish.
Doctors themselves have a great, if a little morbid, sense of humor. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift.
If someone you know is going through a recovery process, a bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate. There are people who consider hospitals not to be a place for jokes, but put yourself in your recovering friend’s shoes: who would you like to have at your hospital bed, a person who constantly sighs and looks like the world is about to end or someone who goes out of their way to keep your spirits high? Yeah, I thought so too. Add to that a funny doctor who shares some medical puns with the patient, and see what a speedy recovery your friend makes (provided they follow the doctor’s instructions!).
Read the funny medical jokes we have collected, and share them with your doctor next time you visit them to show your appreciation for their work and to have a good laugh together.
#81
Why did the doctor take a red pen to work?
In case they wanted to draw blood!
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#82
How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but the nurse has to tell the doctor which end to screw in first.
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#83
How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill the procedure.
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#84
Patient: “Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.”
Doctor: “How do you feel?”
Patient: “A little down in the mouth.”
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#85
Why did the pillow go to the doctor?
He was feeling all stuffed up!
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#86
Why did the ladybird go to the doctor?
She had spots!
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#87
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got a strawberry stuck in my ear!”
Doctor: “Don’t worry, I have some cream for that.”
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#88
Patient: “Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?”
Doctor: “Sell!”
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#89
What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
“Get dressed up — the doctor is taking us out!”
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#90
Who do you call when you need a doctor immediately?
The nearest golf course.
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#91
Patient: “Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.”
Doctor: “Sit down and don’t stir.”
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#92
What did the doctor prescribe to the man who couldn’t stop breaking wind?
A kite.
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#93
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I think I am losing my memory!”
Doctor: “When did that happen?”
Patient: “When did what happen?”
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#94
Where do sick boats go to get healthy?
To the doc!
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#95
Why did the robot go to the doctor?
It had a virus!
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#96
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I’m going to die in 59 seconds!”
Doctor: “Hang on, I’ll be there in a minute.”
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#97
"I went to the doctor this morning and said, “I’ve swallowed a golf ball.” The doctor said, “Yes, I can see it’s gone down a fairway.”"
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#98
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that you are very ill. Is there anyone you would like to see?”
“Yes,” replied the patient faintly. “Another doctor.”
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#99
How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
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#100
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I’m addicted to brake fluid.”
Doctor: “Nonsense — you can stop anytime.”
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