You know how they say that laughter prolongs life? Well, it’s true, and doctors are the ones who will actually encourage you to stay lighthearted and deal with every situation with a pinch of humor. That doesn’t mean ignoring your health though. Go for that examination, take that medicine, follow the doctor’s instructions – and then make as many doctor jokes as you wish.
Doctors themselves have a great, if a little morbid, sense of humor. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift.
If someone you know is going through a recovery process, a bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate. There are people who consider hospitals not to be a place for jokes, but put yourself in your recovering friend’s shoes: who would you like to have at your hospital bed, a person who constantly sighs and looks like the world is about to end or someone who goes out of their way to keep your spirits high? Yeah, I thought so too. Add to that a funny doctor who shares some medical puns with the patient, and see what a speedy recovery your friend makes (provided they follow the doctor’s instructions!).
Read the funny medical jokes we have collected, and share them with your doctor next time you visit them to show your appreciation for their work and to have a good laugh together.
#41
Man: "Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!"
Doctor: "Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen."
unknown
Report7points
#42
Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards."
Man: "And?"
unknown
Report7points
#43
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months.
The woman asked the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: "You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And your brother named them for you."
Woman: "No, no, no! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
Doctor: "Denise."
Woman: "Oh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?"
Doctor deeply sighs and says, "Denephew."
unknown
Report7points
#44
Patient: "What's my life expectancy?"
Doctor: "120."
Patient: "120 what? Days? Weeks? Months?"
Doctor: "119..."
unknown
Report7points
#45
What's the worst part of an apple addiction?
You can't see a doctor about it.
unknown
Report7points
#46
A man frantically calls the doctor and says, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart now!”
“Is this her first child?” the doctor responds.
The man replies, “No, you idiot! This is her husband!”
unknown
Report7points
#47
Doctor: “I had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters. Any news on how he’s doing?”
Nurse: “So far, still no change.”
unknown
Report7points
#48
A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.”
“Oh no, honey. What happened?”
“Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.”
unknown
Report7points
#49
“Are you an organ donor?”
“No, but one time I donated an old piano to the Salvation Army!”
unknown
Report7points
#50
What’s the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?
One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what they treat.
unknown
Report7points
#51
What is a double-blind study?
Two orthopedists reading an electrocardiogram.
unknown
Report7points
#52
They tried to save him with an IV but it was all in vein.
unknown
Report7points
#53
How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?
That depends on whether or not the bulb has health insurance.
unknown
Report7points
#54
What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
An URL-ologist.
unknown
Report7points
#55
Why did Dracula go to the doctor?
He couldn’t stop coffin!
unknown
Report7points
#56
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
unknown
Report7points
#57
Why do surgeons wear masks?
So that no one will recognize them if they make a mistake.
unknown
Report7points
#58
Doctor: “What seems to be your trouble?”
Patient: “When I get up, I feel dizzy for one hour?”
Doctor: “Try getting up one hour later.”
unknown
Report7points
#59
Patient: “Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Please give me your bill.”
Doctor: “Be calm. You are not strong enough for this yet.”
unknown
Report7points
#60
Receptionist: “The doctor is so funny; he’ll have you in stitches.”
Patient: “I hope not — I only came in for a checkup.”
unknown
Report7points
