When it comes to insults without swearing, they are as rare as gems in the ground. Since they don't use curse words, they can hit quite hard. When it comes to these kinds of funny insults, you have to be funny and somewhat smart to create them. However, not everyone would understand them right away. So if you are one to shoot out creative insults without swearing, you should understand their impact.
Insults are made to attack a person verbally instead of using punches or kicks. The more complex they are, the harder these rare insults hit. The punchline is hidden behind words that take some time to figure out. For this reason, the funny part of these insults is the period till the person figures it out and laughs or gets angry. However, some creative insults replace the profanity with more family-friendly words. They are easy to understand, so the period of waiting is removed. But if you want to insult someone with or without swearing, be prepared to receive some hate in return.
If you want to insult your friends or enemies without using profanity, the internet is here to help. User Beadiest_Cape had an interesting question in the popular group of AskReddit — “What’s the best insult you’ve heard without swearing?” We compiled the best ones in the list below. Be sure to upvote the funniest insults and share your own in the comments below.
#42
"Your eyes, they remind me of stars... Not because they're beautiful, no... but because they're so far apart."
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12points
#45
""Your face makes blind kids cry" idk where I heard it but its gold."
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12points
#48
BlueAndMoreBlue said: "You sound like a pizza cutter — all edge and no point."
The_Presitator replied: "Oooo! This is good! I'm a teacher so there are a lot of teenagers I could apply to."
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11points
#49
xkulp8 said: "You are so mercifully free from the ravages of intelligence - Time Bandits."
my_best_space_helmet replied: "I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an over-abundance of schooling - Firefly."
hesmistersun replied: "My days of not taking you seriously have certainly come to a middle."
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11points
#51
"In response to telling a story where the person did something dumb his friend says "I bet you ran through the house with scissors growing up didn't you" and not gonna lie it made my day."
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11points
#52

"I believe I read this one in a Conan the Barbarian book many years ago."You illegitimate offspring of questionable parentage!""
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11points
#56
obert-wan-kenobert said: “Having been born an infant, realizing he quite liked it, he decided to stay one forever.”
bartleby_bartender replied: "This is so perfect. Who're you quoting?"
obert-wan-kenobert replied: "Pretty sure I read it in a Michael Chabon book! Paraphrasing though."
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10points
#57
macho_estimation said: ""I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that" - Groucho Marx."
zerbey replied: "He had a few savage insults, another one is "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it"."
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10points
#59
"When I was younger I used to watch this movie “the great race” with my family. There was this insult that one of the antagonists used towards his counterpart by calling him a “thimble headed gherkin.” Which was essentially and indirectly calling him a d*ck-head. It took me YEARS to make that connection."
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10points
#60
""You would somehow lock yourself in a motorcycle." It was one of mine I think. I think I heard it from somewhere and in a great moment, I just blurted that out. I was arguing with a child."
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10points






