When it comes to insults without swearing, they are as rare as gems in the ground. Since they don't use curse words, they can hit quite hard. When it comes to these kinds of funny insults, you have to be funny and somewhat smart to create them. However, not everyone would understand them right away. So if you are one to shoot out creative insults without swearing, you should understand their impact.
Insults are made to attack a person verbally instead of using punches or kicks. The more complex they are, the harder these rare insults hit. The punchline is hidden behind words that take some time to figure out. For this reason, the funny part of these insults is the period till the person figures it out and laughs or gets angry. However, some creative insults replace the profanity with more family-friendly words. They are easy to understand, so the period of waiting is removed. But if you want to insult someone with or without swearing, be prepared to receive some hate in return.
If you want to insult your friends or enemies without using profanity, the internet is here to help. User Beadiest_Cape had an interesting question in the popular group of AskReddit — “What’s the best insult you’ve heard without swearing?” We compiled the best ones in the list below. Be sure to upvote the funniest insults and share your own in the comments below.
#61

"I don't believe in God, but if there's a Hell down there, it's full with people like you."
Report
10points
#62

“I bet when a family friend brings you up to your parents your parents change the subject.”
Report
10points
#63
"If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose."
Report
10points
#64
Milinka1793 said: "A favorite I read somewhere, "I envy those who have yet to meet you.""
WhatDaufuskie replied: "Bob Dylan: "One day, I wish you'd be in my shoes, so you could know... what a drag it is to see you.""
Report
9points
#65
Commenter said: "You are not a mistake, you're a regret."
Mrjohnjohn12 replied: "You've lost toilet paper privileges. Have fun getting creative!"
Report
9points
#66
"Pretty sure it was in a movie that was a book series - can’t remember the name of the series or the EXACT quote but it was something like:
“If you were half as funny as you think you are, you’d be twice as funny as you are now.”"
Report
9points
#69
"“You would have been better as a stain between the bedsheets” or any variation of it."
Report
9points
#70
"My mother allways told me to be nice or be quiet. I presume you've not heard from yours in years?"
Report
9points
#72
"I had a teacher tell some kid "Nothing you have to say is of any consequence... to anyone." He was an odd teacher who kinda talked like that, but it was his version of savage. The room lost its sh*t in unison."
Report
8points
#73
FlashforGordan said: ""If you were the prize at the end of my race, I would walk backwards" - Judge Judy."
TBroomey replied: ""Beauty fades, dumb is forever." Another good one from Judge Judith Sheindlin."
Puzzleheaded_Rate_73 answered: ""Listen to me. I'm older, smarter. If you live to be a hundred and fifty, you're not going to be as smart as I am in one finger!" From the infamous Ebay Cellphone Scammer episode."
Report
8points
#74
lexmattness said: "Sharp as a marble, that one..."
TheRiverOtter replied: "So, just needs to be broken first?"
DinoHunter64 answered: "Sharp as mashed potatoes was a good one I heard."
Report
8points
#79
"Adapted from Bob Dylan's "Positively 4th Street",
I wish that for a moment you could stand in my shoes, then you'd know what a drag it is to see you."
Report
7points





