93 Netizens Share The Funniest Things They’ve Ever Had The Luck To Witness

A man walking down a street in NYC with only purple briefs on an a three foot long braid wrapped around his neck. Oh yeah, he had a sachel.

We used to try to emulate wrestling in a friends kitchen years ago. Earlier in the night I had run and jumped on the back of the largest one of our group. He grabbed me and threw me to the ground and the brawl continued. Later the smallest of our band of misfits decided to try the same thing. Only the target was farther back and when scrawny runs and jumps he hits his head on a beam running across the ceiling and lands flat on his back never having hit hit target.

We laughed once we knew he wasn't d**d.

While on a motorcycle trip across half the country my father and I witnessed the tail end of a possible road rage incident. We were riding up the highway when one car passed a pickup and didn't think much of it... about 5 minutes later we round a bend and there are both cars parked on the shoulder, drivers in mid fisticuffs. As we passed I looked over and the fighters were so involved in their battle they forgot to take the terrain into account, fell and rolled down a slightly steep hill together.

It wasn't until we stopped for a break about an hour later that my dad laughs and says "Oh and what the f**k was that fight about anyway?" I had forgotten about it until then and all I saw in my mind was those two bozos tumbling down a hillside and kicking up a dust cloud.

F*****g New Mexico...

An ex-girlfriend and I were play fighting using our words (calling each other names and whatnot but none of it serious). She had said something along the lines of calling me stupid or idiotic then turned around and walked right into the door frame. Literally fell to the ground laughing and cracking up.

I was at Bonnaroo in '09 and going to see a 3 am show. Centeroo was PACKED! There was a great rain/tornado storm to kick off the weekend and by Saturday night everything was just a giant mud pit. We stood shoulder to shoulder, lining a muddy walkway to watch the show, when two people walking towards each other slipped and fell in the mud. When they got up I looked down and saw a fresh banana peel that one of them had apparently slipped on in the mud. They high fived and moved on. From there we proceeded to stand there and place bets on the next banana-mud pit victims. The best was watching people with a drink in each hand, sliding their feet front and back like a cartoon trying not to fall. The tripping dude in his boxers, going "OOOHHHHHH" every time someone fell was the icing on the cake!

This'll be buried, but it's the best place to share this story. I'm a freshman in college, and one of the classes I have to take is theatre appreciation. Theatre appreciation is in our art and music building at the college I go to, which is a decent walk away from the rest of my classes. While on my way to my theatre class, a few band kids are with me. All of a sudden, I hear "Oh no... here he goes again." and "Dude, look! Shhh...Jerry's about to do it again!". Then a few feet in front of me, this nerdy kid with blonde hair pulls out a saxophone, and starts sneaking behind a large guy, while playing the Pink Panther theme song. It was all I could do to keep from laughing. Then after about 30 seconds he pauses, gives someone his saxophone, reaches in his backpack, pulls out a wig, puts it on, takes back the sax, and starts following the guy again, this time playing Careless Whisper by George Michaels. (

I was at this graduation party and this kid who recently moved to America was there. He had a strong Brazilian accent and basically everyone liked it because he was a goofy kid. He was talking to this girl about her boyfriend, and the girl said that she and the boyfriend had done everything except s*x (I don't know how the conversation got there). So he says "You are willing to have, but s*x?" referring to the fact that they did not do it. But the way he said it kind of made it sound like "you are willing to have b**t s*x?"

Overhearing this, I say "VERY NICE!" like in Borat. Everybody around was laughing for a solid 5 minutes, most of it was his strange accent and his overall manner.

A friend and I are trick or treating in probably seventh grade. We're walking towards a house and notice a kid in a scream costume sitting behind a bush, obviously preparing to scare us. I yell at him, "You know, we can see you."

As we walk up to the house, despite the warning, he still runs out to try and scare us. We were watching him the entire time walking up, so we're able to clearly see him trip over his own long costume and fall on his face.

This sounds dumb and lame, but it was hilarious.

We were in Vegas walking the strip drunk, the usual when you visit there. Craziness as it was Halloween and it was more packed than usual. We saw all kinds of crazy drunken acts, etc, but the best was this guy who ran up to this big black guy that he did not know. The skinny guy that ran up to him had clearly just got a huge tattoo on his bicep as it was red and had the A&D ointment on it still and was shiny. He screams "SLAP MY F*****G TATTOO! SLAPPP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!!!" and WITHOUT HESITATION or even questioning why he asked him to do this that bigass guy just f*****g slaps his new tattoo as hard as he f*****g could.

The skinny tattoo guy jut lets out this MANLY scream like from a movie or something. A deep voiced "AHHHHHHHH." The slap made a classic slap sound too. Everything was almost too perfect to have been spontaneous.

When I reread it, it doesn't sound as funny or crazy as it is if you were there, and I've seen some crazy life altering s**t- just the weirdness and spontaneity of this made it awesome.

I went into a mirror maze in the Mall of America right behind a family and their little boy. I make it part way through when all of a sudden I hear the little boy go "Mommy Daddy I found the way out!!" and proceeded to sprint full speed into a mirror and face plant so hard he did a backwards somersault. I tried to cover my face from laughing and escape while the parents consoled the poor kid.

In high school, our tennis team was on a long bus ride to a match. One random moment we were all looking out the window into the window of the car next to us. It had a young boy in the passenger seat and and elderly woman, probably grandma, driving. The young boy went to turn the radio channel or something, and the woman came forth like a trained criminal and smacked his hand down HARD, not even taking her eyes off the road. We all laughed so hard.

I was working at a lake marina during college, tending the gas dock. A boat full of tipsy young muscle heads, plus one older lady made up of sorts of plastic bits ("her skin was stretched so tight every time she smiled, her arms came up"). One of the guys is at the front of them boat, and I go to hand him a rope to tie off with. He drops the rope in the water. I go to pick it up, but, for some reason, he lies down and tries to reach it from the water. He slips out of the boat, catching his board shorts on one of the cleats on the boat. His head is in the water, he's inverted, to far from the dock to grab on, and to far from the boat to pull up. The thrashing that happened in the ensuing 15 seconds made me laugh so hard I threw up.

I was on the subway and a man was giving some girl a hard time about her time with getting a date. As people walked by he comedically kept exclaiming "C'mon get his number! Or this guy get this guy's number!"

Right then a scrawny teenager walked past and at the perfect time the man saw him and yelled out. "C'mon get this kid's IP address"

The whole train car erupted in laughter.

A few years back I was working as a seasonal employee at a Target store. I was in the toy department one day and witnessed a young blonde girl, (couldn't have been any older than 3) start to make beeping noises as an incredibly obese woman in front of her started to back up. It was everything I had to keep from busting up laughing.

This one time when I was a freshman in high school a teacher had me and two other kids take some boxes to another teachers classroom. As we're walking over to the teachers room a kid with Down syndrome comes up to my friend and takes the boxes throws them over his head and walks off. I was on the ground laughing so d**n hard.

Oh man...

I think I was a senior in highschool; I was at a mall with two of my friends. We had just seen a movie so we were leaving. As we're leaving they both decided they wanted to take some time to smoke a cigarette. So, there we were standing in the parking lot next to my buddy's car. We were sort of blocking the path between the cars as they smoked, but we were being harmless. People are walking by, no big deal; nothing is upsetting the balance of normalcy. However, as we are talking, there was this guy who is walking towards us. One of my friends was facing away from the guy and didn't know he was coming. Just as the guy is walking behind him, my friend stops the conversation we were having and says "listen". As he says this he bends over and lets this huge, f*****g fart rip right on this guy. At this point I couldn't help myself but fall over on the hood of the car next to me, f*****g laughing hysterically. It was fantastic. Sure, this guy getting farted on was funny enough, but what made it all the funnier was it was a complete accident. The guy was so embarrassed, he didn't say anything, walked to his car and drove away. We were, apparently, blocking his path to his car, so he was trying to walk around us awkwardly, and this chain of events got him farted on. At this point we all were rolling around on the ground in a mall parking lot laughing our asses off. We f*****g laughed for an hour about that.

edit:Li (禮 pinyin: Lĭ) is a classical Chinese word which finds its most extensive use in Confucian and post-Confucian Chinese philosophy.

Was at a rock climbing gym with my friends and the mats were really soft so we decided to do front flips with 2 people forming a bar with their hands. Friend A didnt know how to do it so Friends B C and I demonstrate it for him. Afterwards Friend A felt he was ready. He adjusted his belt and ran towards the bar and for some reason, jumps into it and ends up landing on his head.

Happened across a hotdog stand set up for some charity thing, my buddy and I get a hotdog because they were only a dollar. he says "what's this for?" she says, "schizophrenia awareness" he says, "well, better give me two then" he only said it because he wanted to help out but she had a look on her face like you wouldn't believe.

Probably the funniest guy I know is really good friends with an Egyptian immigrant, and his parents called him one time when we were in a restaurant because they didn't know where they son was. My friend answered and after a second said, "Sure, I'll call him and tell him to lick his wiener. Nah, I don't think he likes big t*****s either." I was younger at the time obviously, but to this day I still haven't laughed harder than that. Sure, he was taking advantage of the language barrier but jesus christ, my ribs still hurt.

I was in switzerland, and this large woman was screaming at her (also large) six year old daughter, "NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY CANDY UNTIL YOU FINISH YOUR DOUGHNUT!".