One liners are one of the best forms of comedy. I wanna hear yours!
#61
There are two kinds of people in this world. One, those who can form logical conclusions based on limited data.
3points
#62
The ability to speak does not make you intelligent
- Qui Gon Jinn
3points
#63
Your gene pool could use some chlorine.
3points
#64
Person 1: "I'm afraid of the 15th, 9th, and 3rd letters of the alphabet." Person 2: "Oh, I see." Person 1: *faints*
3points
#65
You look good enough for an open casket funeral!
3points
#66
I hate mornings so much I sleep till noon
2points
#67
Descartes walks into a restaurant. The waiter asked if he’d like wine with dinner. Descartes said “I don’t think” and disappeared.
2points
#68
When arguing that I am right/always right: "I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken."
2points
#69
I'm leaving this world the same way I came into it: screaming and covered in somebody else's blood.
2points
#70
I was having dinner with my boss and his wife said, ‘How many potatoes would you like, Tim?’. I said ‘Ooh, I’ll just have one please.’ She said ‘It’s OK, you don’t have to be polite.’ ‘Alright,’ I said, ‘I’ll just have one then, you stupid cow.
The brilliant Tim Vine!
1point
#71
A Roman walks into a bar, puts 2 fingers up and says "5 beers please"
1point
#72
A snake walked into a bar, the bartender asked "how did you do that?"
1point
#73
When I started working for this company, I was young and impoverished.
But after forty years of hard work and loyal service, I am no longer young.
But after forty years of hard work and loyal service, I am no longer young.
1point
#74
Pardon me for talking while you were interrupting.
1point
#75
I stopped calling my toilet the John and started calling it the Jim. My friends are well impressed when I tell them I go the the Jim twice a day!
Seen in The Rotherham Bugle
Seen in The Rotherham Bugle
1point
#76
I once heard my friend say “are you a coffin cause I’m dying to get inside of you” h actually got the girls number too.😂😂😂
1point
#77
On a Friday, say "Day five of the hostage situation"
1point
#78
Your incompetence is beginning to grow taxing...(I stole this from Underworld and have found it quite useful)
0points
#79
Give yourself a break do it since a perfect house isn't going to help our tired bodies only the eyes😁 (an advice I give my friends and mum a lot)
0points
#80
Living and dying in Texas is redundant.
0points