Post your favorite or best comeback.
#61
Use the thing between your ears that God gave you
2points
#62
Not a witty comeback to someone being rude; but I have two sayings that I made up and still use. 1: Sometimes before you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you have to be hit by the train. 2: Life's a bitch, so slap it. (Bitch in this sense not meaning a female but meaning just a pain in the ass).
2points
#63
I have 3 original examples:
Some dude in my comments said, "I highly suggest you vote for Trump" and I replied, "I highly suggest you take that brain of yours back to the dollar store for a refund."
When starting a TV show with my siblings if it says "This show is intended only for mature audiences", I sometimes tell one of my siblings they have to leave.
And finally, a story I was imagining about the characters in Punch Out - Lil Mac to Glass Joe: "You're pretty good at this, maybe one day you can be boxer!"
Some dude in my comments said, "I highly suggest you vote for Trump" and I replied, "I highly suggest you take that brain of yours back to the dollar store for a refund."
When starting a TV show with my siblings if it says "This show is intended only for mature audiences", I sometimes tell one of my siblings they have to leave.
And finally, a story I was imagining about the characters in Punch Out - Lil Mac to Glass Joe: "You're pretty good at this, maybe one day you can be boxer!"
2points
#64
"You don't know that." It works with everything, and it's disarming.
2points
#65
If they make some nasty a$$ comeback just 'smile' at them and watch them get peed off...
2points
#66
My teen daughter was on her phone and wouldn't do her homework and when I demanded she hand over the phone she said "hang on, I'm picking out a nursing home for you" so I shot back, "what you should be doing is picking out the park bench you'll be living under after you drop out."
2points
#67
When someone says "F**K YOU"
Is that an insult or a request?
2points
#68
Go eat an unseasoned carpet you quarter cup of warm mayonnaise
2points
#69
When somebody is obviously talkin smack and can't back up what they are spouting I always tell them to not let their alligator mouth get their hummingbird butt in trouble.
2points
#70
I had a construction guy holler at me from the roof he was working on saying
"Hey baby, wanna sit on my face"? My reply was,"Why? Is your nose bigger then your d**k"? That shut him up and all his buddies were laughing historically at him.
"Hey baby, wanna sit on my face"? My reply was,"Why? Is your nose bigger then your d**k"? That shut him up and all his buddies were laughing historically at him.
2points
#71
1)Your death with probably be caused by being sarcastic at the wrong time.
2)Quit trying to be a smart ass when you are just an ass.
3)How long did it take you to come up with that one?
4)No. No. I am listening; it just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once.
5)I bet you were up all night trying to come up that one.
6) If I threw a stick, you’d leave, right?
7)If you had a brain cell, it would die of loneliness.
8)You’re the reason why tubes of toothpaste have instructions on them.
9)Next time you cross the road, don’t bother looking.
10) Your face makes onions cry.
and my personal favorite. Don’t worry about me. Worry about them eyebrows. shuts them up immediately.
2)Quit trying to be a smart ass when you are just an ass.
3)How long did it take you to come up with that one?
4)No. No. I am listening; it just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once.
5)I bet you were up all night trying to come up that one.
6) If I threw a stick, you’d leave, right?
7)If you had a brain cell, it would die of loneliness.
8)You’re the reason why tubes of toothpaste have instructions on them.
9)Next time you cross the road, don’t bother looking.
10) Your face makes onions cry.
and my personal favorite. Don’t worry about me. Worry about them eyebrows. shuts them up immediately.
2points
#72
When a woman I used to work with tried to fat-shame me in front of loads of co-workers (after I recovered from temporary partial paralysis and had put on weight from not being able to walk for six months), my reply was, “I used to be a size 6 too, but at least I have great boobs now” (:
2points
#73
I have no major come back answer, just a couple of inadequacies: (1) NBD, no big deal. (2) Forget you ever knew me as I have already done for you.
Neither reply is dangerous to the speaker's body or ego.
Neither reply is dangerous to the speaker's body or ego.
1point
#74
I just insult people in Yiddish. "Gay koken offn yan". "Gey strashen di gens". "Kholerye"
Always works!
Always works!
1point
#75
“-Please do not insult my intelligence with your stupidness”
1point
#76
My brother was intimidating the zombies from call of duty, and I said "you are as annoying as them".
1point
#77
I say this to the jerks at school
You're the reason God created the middle finger. ...
You're the reason God created the middle finger. ...
1point
#78
Just a simple shut up or F**k off does the trick for me
1point
#79
Why thank you, I choose to take that as a compliment.
1point
#80
And?
Its way more effective than you think and works best of teenager's.
1point