I’m not going to write a long description, but I will say that my dad is a master of dad jokes and puns. Having gotten my sense of humor from him, I would love to get some new jokes as well as share some with the rest of you. It can be as cringe-worthy as you want; the cornier, the better! Feel free to make one up, too, if that’s something you’re good at. Have fun!
#41
Q: Why were sodium and chlorine arrested?
Ans: For a salt
Ans: For a salt
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
Ans: If you can’t helium or curium then you might as well barium
Ans: If you can’t helium or curium then you might as well barium
2points
#42
Can February March?
Idk, but April May!
Idk, but April May!
1point
#43
I had a job at an ED clinic…
I had to quit because I haven’t gotten a raise in years.
I had to quit because I haven’t gotten a raise in years.
1point
#44
Kid: "Dad, how long to dinner?"
Dad: "about 2 and a half foot"
Dad: "about 2 and a half foot"
1point
#45
My sister once asked my dad if she was adopted and he replied "if I had a choice do you think I would've picked you?" Hahaha he has a wicked dark sense of humour
1point
#46
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No-eye-deer
A: No-eye-deer
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A: Still no-eye-deer
A: Still no-eye-deer
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes, ears or legs?
A: Anything you like, he can't hear you
A: Anything you like, he can't hear you
1point
#47
Squirrel fried itself on a transformer, power went out. Next station picks it up, comes back on. It fails, power goes out. This happened about 5 times. After power out for the time being, Dad looks at me and says "This is the worst disco I've ever been to."
1point
#48
Orignally, the Dwarves from Snow White, were 9, not 7. But, when Tasty went missing, Hungry got banished
1point
#49
How does a cheerleader answer the phone?
Give me an "H", give me an "E", give me an "LL-O"!!!!
1point
#50
How did Hitler tie his shoes ?
In little knotsies !
1point
#51
How many times do you have to tickle and octopus to make it laugh?
Ten-Tickles…
Of course it already has 8 of them, so the first two are just Test-Tickles!
1point
#52
What did the pencil say to the paper?
“I dot my i’s on you!”
“I dot my i’s on you!”
1point
#53
two guys walked into a bar. you think the second one would have seen it coming
1point
#54
Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef
A. Ground beef
1point
#55
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Because they taste funny.
1point
#56
Where did George Washington hide his armies?
In his sleevies
1point
#57
Q: How do you make a sausage roll?
A: You push it down the hill.
A: You push it down the hill.
1point
#58
Two peanuts were walking down the street, and one was assaulted!
0points
#59
It's easy to make plans for date-night with a gymnast - they're very flexible.
0points
#60
Know why your bike is leaning against the garage?
It's TWO tired. get it?
Two tired.
It's TWO tired. get it?
Two tired.
0points