I’m not going to write a long description, but I will say that my dad is a master of dad jokes and puns. Having gotten my sense of humor from him, I would love to get some new jokes as well as share some with the rest of you. It can be as cringe-worthy as you want; the cornier, the better! Feel free to make one up, too, if that’s something you’re good at. Have fun!
#61
[At the grocery store] Don't look at that shelf! Don't watch salad dressing, you pervert!
0points
#62
Two nuns walk into a bar and the third one ducks.
0points
#63
Me: Dad, you really can't believe everything you hear on Fox News! You have to do some research!
My dad: If I wanted to hear from an a*****e, I'd just fart.
My dad: If I wanted to hear from an a*****e, I'd just fart.
-1point
#64
This one is a joke my step dad likes to tell. He's a Catholic for background.
Dad: how do you teach religion?
Me: how?
Dad: feed'm s**t
Me: how?
Dad: feed'm s**t
To know faith in Latin is "fidem scire" pronounced FEE-dim SHEER-eh.
Here's one I tell my kids. There were two cats having a boat race. One cat was named One Two Three, the other cat was Un Deux Trois. Which cat won the race? One Two Three did, unfortunately the Un Deux Trois cat sank.
-1point
#65
Here’s something my dad used to say when I put the word ‘succeed’ in a sentence:
Dad: “What succeeds?”
Me: “I don’t know”
Dad: “A budgie with no teeth”
Dad: “What succeeds?”
Me: “I don’t know”
Dad: “A budgie with no teeth”
-1point
#66
what’s green and has wheels?
grass. i lied about the wheels
grass. i lied about the wheels
-1point