Hey Pandas, Tell Me You're A Parent Without Telling Me You’re A Parent

I have had to tell someone to stop being mean to their cheese...

I told you to go get your pajamas on and brush your teeth. I get to listen to a hissy fit for the next 30 minutes because obviously I have ruined your life.

There are tissues in varying states of use in my left cargo shorts pocket at all times.

My rearview mirror is adorned with a pacifier hanging from a lanyard

I learned to love the burnt fries in an order.

Constantly saying "I'm not a bank!" My kids are 29 and 21.
Legos NEVER leave. 16 years of them in storage and I still occasionally find a stray!

I know all the words to the Paw Patrol, PJ Mask, and Team Umizoomi theme songs. As well as all the characters names.

Most days I end up carrying an extra 20-25 lbs around the house that's not even my own weight...

I could spend all day cleaning but by bedtime it looks like a tornado went through my house..😮‍💨

I have a large assortment of papers with what looks to be nothing but scribbles, sloppy random brush strokes. However I've been informed the are boats, the ocean, and any combination of things you could imagine

My algorithm thinks I'm a gangsta rap listening, Roblox playing, jazz loving, challenge taking, hard working, trend dancing human being.

I answer the question " why " over 500 times per day.

My favorite phrases are "it starts with p, ends with an e, and is all manners" and "that doesn't go up your nose or in your mouth"

I have found petrified chicken nuggets in and under the couch.
I never have to worry about a burglar breaking in, because my floors are minefields, especially in the dark.
Poop talk is a constant.
I hide candy in empty tampon boxes.
I eat candy in the bathroom. With the door locked.
I have called out, 'You! With the face!' and they know who I am talking too.
I yell, 'Stop Running in the House' 2,394,103 times a day.
I once prided myself on my cooking. Now, everything I cook is 'Gross' unless premade and bought from the store. At least my husband and friends still like my cooking. But my confidence has taken a massive hit.
When I go to the store alone, I check the back seat.
Every doctor visit requires a trip to Dollar Tree afterwards.
Laundry is NEVER ENDING.
Never enough socks.
Apparently, one can subsist on popsciles and ice alone.

Was at a restaurant with a friend, tried something new. When she asked me how it was I said, "Oh, it's nummy num nums."

Glitter everywhere.
Chicken nuggets for dinner
Why is this sticky?

I have a formula that gets markers and crayons off walls.

I crochet but I can't fit my work in the bag due to all the bandages liquid stitch and meds. Instead of hooks it's all colored pencils

My husband just said “the floor is lava” instead of the “floor is yours” during a presentation

Uh=truck, wa'a=water, ay=train, mirl=milk, ee=cheese or please, etc.

Also currently looking for a minivan because in a few months there won't be any more room in our car.