Hey Pandas, Tell Me You're A Parent Without Telling Me You’re A Parent

I sway back and forth usually humming a soothing tune when not at home and by myself
I also tend to rock the shopping carriage back and forth humming or lightly singing, also by myself.

Which one are you again? Out of 7 no one ever remembered my name (middle kid). I was called jack one day. The dogs name.

I am a walking tissue / napkin.

Sometimes I find myself quietly humming "I love you, you love me..." and have to force myself to stop.

I have 2 refrigerators and a pantry all completely stocked with food. I am told multiple times a day that we "Never have anything to eat in this house!"

There is a happy face sticker on every doorknob in the house, and a big one on the inside of the toilet lid…

Sleep? Ahh, I remember sleep. Many moons ago there was plenty of it to go around.

When it's time to put away a toy (or some other object), said item is "sleepy/needs to go to it's home."

"I have a tattoo!" He stood in the mirror and drew Pokémon on his chest in permanent marker.

I yell, "get in the car!,". about the same amount as I yell, "get out of the car!" And yet... Still no one listens.

wait.. Season 4 of Strangers Things came out?

I need a break after my holiday.

I know where to find mommy, daddy, brother and sister finger at any given time

Toilet not flushing by finding a whole roll of toilet paper, a doll, and a about 15 wrappers for candy.

Them on Monday "good weekend"
Me "meh"
Then "what did you get up to?"
Me (desperately tries to thing of the most glamorous way of saying "survived while dreading Monday")

I know the difference between Master C heif and Nathan Drake

I found a chunk of hair on the bathroom floor.

Now to do shades check.

To say it like Downton Abby: Weekend? What's a weekend?

What's a weekend?

On more than one occasion while pulling into the driveway I have said the words I know you have to pee but please do not pee in the backyard the kitchen doors 10 ft away