Hey Pandas, Tell Me You're A Parent Without Telling Me You’re A Parent

I can tell you... Wait. GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!... I do not care that the dog gave it to you... So I can... Hold on. Uhm. What was the question...?

I have a basket with several mateless shoes and sneakers.

I used to hate cold coffee but now it's almost all I'm able to drink.

I’m tired

I just bought some dork diaries books from the library (my mom 4 years ago POV)

French fries or goldfish crackers on the floor of the car

I have learned to "talk" for the stuffed cats. Things start with an "m"

I call my husband Daddy in a non-sexual way

I made up names for animals and kids on the street, since I got scolded for not knowing their names by a two year old.

screaming kids, toilet paper mummies, kids rolled up in "avocado" blankets

Is that poop or chocolate?

I don't remember the last time I was able to stay home alone. Without kids or hubby🥺. I have to leave the house if I want a moment of peace and quiet. Not even bathroom time is sacred.

Wet floors and doors that seem to not close.

I once found a cheeseburger in my purse that had been there a couple of days.

Going to the supermarket/Target/CVS by myself feels like a vacation on a tropical island.

Where is my ________? As it walks past on someone else's body.

Toot toot Chugga chugga big red car on a loop in my head. OH and the snot! Copious amounts of snot. Uggh.

Several of my most treasured pieces of jewelry are made of rainbow plastic pony beads.

I yell everyday" STOP YELLING"

I have had projectile poop in my eye.
(It burns!)