Hey Pandas, Tell Me You're A Parent Without Telling Me You’re A Parent

I have had to explain more than once that people don't break out in song and dance anywhere we go. Ever.

Even I'm glad school is out.

My wife went to Aldis one morning. Apparently when she opened her shopping bag it was full of teething toys.

I usually eat leftovers from many different plates

My shopping list list consists names next to the items so I know if the item can be substituted or not. The world almost ended last week when I bought gummy bears and no gummy worms.

I have at least 6 completely empty boxes in the pantry and 4 open cabinet doors.

Speaking to my friends as if they were small children.

I'm the punching bag for a set of first year hockey twins

My husband just said “the floor is lava” instead of the “floor is yours” during a presentation

Bought decorations and food yesterday, cleaned and DIYed a whole pink ocean theme room today. Ready for bday bbq for tomorrow.

I have taken a pick axe to the side of my garden to create a "construction site" so that the excavators don't dig up my cucumbers. Every morning the house is clean, and two hours into the day I can't walk in a straight line. And I've had to ask why boogers are on the wall or smiley faces are drawn in poop on the sports car I don't get to use anymore in the garage.

There are tissues in varying states of use in my left cargo shorts pocket at all times.

"WAAAÀALK!"

Also: I know the name of every crayola crayon color.

My rearview mirror is adorned with a pacifier hanging from a lanyard

I function as a cook, teacher, nurse, counselor, maid, entertainer, and human pillow- and I do it all for free.

I've watched all of "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse"

I have said the words "No that hole is not a poop shoot, put your underwear on right."

(Cat owner)
Every two minutes or so, a “bwurr” is echoed through the house.

There is one show in the house that you hear way more than any other... Cocomelon. There's also the song... We Don't Talk About Bruno

All cookies, candies, and chips are in a locked cabinet over the fridge. The cleaning products are in an unlocked cabinet under the sink.