Hey Pandas, Tell Me You're A Parent Without Telling Me You’re A Parent

i smell like puke or p**s.or puke and p**s

The school called........

I was baking a cake around 11 pm. Then I decorated it with a picture of Neymar Jr.

I know that I have too many towels for any reasonable place, let just say clumsy can be transferred

I wake up at ungodly hours of morning to provide transport for younger humans to their activities. (They both can drive now and I still provide this service)

I eat the crust only sometimes lol

That wasn’t candy…

I know 8 birthdates by heart and often have to repeat them several times a day. Just imagine moving more than once with all the doctors, dentists, schools, insurance companies, emergency rooms...

The list of nice things we will buy, and when we will refinish the floors gets longer and further away.

I had to replace carpeting because it was painted with red fingernail polish.

I have enough snacks on the back floor of my truck, for a week of camping

Laundry is eternal...

I find myself preforming the same household tasks (Picking up cups/plates/bowls/clothes/shoes etc) only to go back a couple of hours later to find "not mine's" cup/plate/bowl/clothes/shoes, etc have appeared.

It's 1:45am. First shift completed. Clean and fed, down for the count.

You never have any spoons or forks in the utensils drawer-- EVER!

Who do it? No body!! Who made you cry? No one!!

Let me get you a juice box. They're in my purse. Snack? Ok, got those in there too.

I have no fear of poop, vomit, or pee. Also I can find the halflings.

"Don't lick your brother's butt"

I have more Lego men than shower gels and shampoos in my shower