Being a grandparent is as much of a responsibility as being a parent, and maybe even more so. You have to remember all your grandchildren’s favorite foods, know how to regulate a large number of kids in one room, and be a comfort to your grandchildren when they are battling the world (even if it’s because mom and dad won’t let them get a tattoo before college). Of course, we as grandchildren love them with all our hearts in return. And as it usually happens when you love someone, we joke about them too.
Most grandma jokes are about how grandma will never let you leave her house without a substantial meal (or two), and if my grandma is any indication, that joke is just a life fact. I could never understand how she managed to have the exact food I was craving ready on the stove, and a couple of others “just in case.”
Grandpas, on the other hand, are all about adventures and storytelling. A fun grandpa will build a miniature railway with you or take you fishing during the day and read a book on Egyptian history with you in the evening. So if you ever went to the house of your grandparent saying that you weren’t hungry and didn’t want to have fun, I honestly have no idea how you planned to get away with that nonsense.
By the way, did you know that many countries celebrate a special holiday known as Grandparents’ Day? On that day, you can spend some extra time with your grandparents or, if they live too far away, send them a postcard. You will find a great selection of beautiful postcards with quotes about grandparents in most bookstores.
For this article, we collected a lot of grandparent quotes you can put on a handmade card or a T-shirt. We also put together heaps of jokes for grandparents to enjoy with their grandchildren.
#81
"On her death bed, the last words that my grandma told my grandpa was, “Honey, I’ll see you in heaven!” Since then, he’s been kicking puppies and robbing stores every day."
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#82
"Have you seen the sweater my grandmother made me? It's pretty knit."
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#83
Why did grandma leave the job at the glue factory?
She could not stick with it.
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#84
What happened after grandmother decided to become vegan?
Every time you meet her, it feels like you never met her'bivore.
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#85
What did grandma say about her career as a young girl?
"I worked at the shoe showroom, and then they gave me the boot."
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#86
"How did grandma agree to get spine surgery? She told me, "It was holding me back for a really long time.""
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#87
"My grandmother was a Math teacher. We were discussing infinity the other day, and it kept going on forever."
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#88
Grandma's getting a little hard to understand in her old age.
"Ma", we said, "you may be getting dyslexia."
"Lysdexia?", she said, "Don't be diriculous."
We had to put our foot down when she got on the phone to order fitted sheets.
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#89
My grandma got a new hearing aid.
“It was $5,” she said.
“What kind is it?” I asked.
“Ten-o-clock.”
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#90
"After 40 long years, my grandma has finally gotten my grandpa to stop biting his nails. She's hidden his teeth."
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#91
Why did Grandpa get banned from the zoo?
Because he had a lion’s heart.
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#92
What are the two things your grandpa doesn’t like about you as a little boy?
One, you don’t want to sleep in the afternoon. Two, you won’t let him take a nap either.
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#93
What would a lawnmower grandfather’s eulogy be like?
"Now he’s lawn-gone."
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#94
What do people call grandfather clocks?
The old-timers.
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#95
From what did grandpa say he suffered a high degree of stress?
From grandma.
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#96
Why did the grandpa say no to local anesthetic on the day of the operation?
Because he was looking forward to an imported one.
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#97
What did the lawyer grandfather say to the waiter who wrote the bill at the cash counter?
"Whoever writes it, pays for it."
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#98
What do Minions call their Grandmas?
Ba-Nanas.
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#99
Why do you have to take permission from grandpa to sell fish?
Because he is the cod-father.
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#100
"My grandparents buy me so many school supplies for the first day of school that I have to take the first two weeks off just to sharpen pencils."
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