Being a grandparent is as much of a responsibility as being a parent, and maybe even more so. You have to remember all your grandchildren’s favorite foods, know how to regulate a large number of kids in one room, and be a comfort to your grandchildren when they are battling the world (even if it’s because mom and dad won’t let them get a tattoo before college). Of course, we as grandchildren love them with all our hearts in return. And as it usually happens when you love someone, we joke about them too.
Most grandma jokes are about how grandma will never let you leave her house without a substantial meal (or two), and if my grandma is any indication, that joke is just a life fact. I could never understand how she managed to have the exact food I was craving ready on the stove, and a couple of others “just in case.”
Grandpas, on the other hand, are all about adventures and storytelling. A fun grandpa will build a miniature railway with you or take you fishing during the day and read a book on Egyptian history with you in the evening. So if you ever went to the house of your grandparent saying that you weren’t hungry and didn’t want to have fun, I honestly have no idea how you planned to get away with that nonsense.
By the way, did you know that many countries celebrate a special holiday known as Grandparents’ Day? On that day, you can spend some extra time with your grandparents or, if they live too far away, send them a postcard. You will find a great selection of beautiful postcards with quotes about grandparents in most bookstores.
For this article, we collected a lot of grandparent quotes you can put on a handmade card or a T-shirt. We also put together heaps of jokes for grandparents to enjoy with their grandchildren.
#101
"My grandparents passed away 36 times. Every time I change jobs all four of them come alive again."
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#102
"My Grandparents were Trekkies, and named my father after their favourite Captain. When I was young, I was frequently hoisted by my own Picard."
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#103
"My granddad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray. He’s now classed as a seasoned veteran."
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#104
Grandpa Mike died this weekend.
He led a simple life, loved by family and friends while enjoying a long career as a crop duster.
In accordance with his final wishes, his cremated remains will be mixed with water and sprayed over the seashore where he spent his final days.
He will be mist.
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#105
"I asked my grandmother how she’s enjoying her new stairlift. She said, “It’s driving me up the wall.”"
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#106
A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his grandma, “How was I born?”
His grandma awkwardly answers, “The stork brought you.”
“Oh,” says the boy. “Well, how were mummy and daddy born?”
“Um, well, the stork brought them, too, and your grandpa and I.”
The boy begins his paper, “This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn’t been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations.”
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#107
Why was grandma in such a hurry while making pasta sauce for the dinner guests?
It was already 8pm and she was running out of thyme.
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#108
What did grandma do when she was feeling lonely?
She bought some shares because she wanted company.
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#109
"Did your grandma give you her bread recipe?"
"Yes, we often trade recipes on a knead to know basis."
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#110
What did grandpa say after reading ‘Karaoke Tonight’ at a restaurant?
He just asked what sort of fish that was.
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#111
Why did grandpa say, “Ask grandma for picnic permission”?
Because it won’t be allowed if grandma said no!
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#112
Why is today the last day that one can see 82-year-old grandpa?
Because he would be 83 tomorrow.
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#113
Why did grandpa yell ‘gallons, liters, pints’ the day after the Christmas party?
Because he likes to speak in volumes.
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#114
Two grandparents are having a phone call talking about their family.
One grandparent talks about how proud she is that her granddaughter came to visit her while socially distanced.
The other said, “My grandson is so protective of me. He socially distances so much he won’t even call me!”
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#115
Erwin Schrodinger came from abroad to attend grandparent's wedding in North America.
He was a nonlocal observer.
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#116
Why did the grandfather clock fall over?
It went back too far for Daylight Saving!
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#117
What did the grandpa pancake say to the grandchild burnt pancake?
"I don’t like your flip side."
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#118
"My grandparents, parents, and even my siblings have chronic diarrhea. I guess it runs in the family."
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#119
"My grandpa always used to say to me, “Fight fire with fire.” It’s no wonder he got sacked from the fire service."
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#120
"My grandpa always said, “Always try to be the fish going against the current.” Good man. Got electrocuted every day though."
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