Grandparent Jokes To Share With Your Gran And Gramps Next Time You Visit

"I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!”"

What was the reason for grandpa changing his major?

So that he could switch to Classics from Literature.

A grandfather from Brooklyn decided to prepare his will and make his final requests.

He told the rabbi he had two final requests. First, he wanted to be cremated, and second, he wanted her ashes scattered over Yankee Stadium.

“Yankee Stadium!” the rabbi exclaimed. “Why Yankee Stadium?”

“Then I’ll be sure my son visits me once a week.”

What did the 90 year old say to his great-grandson?

"I miss the days of being your age when my teeth were in my mouth 24/7!"

Two elderly grandparents from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, “I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?”

The other says, “I feel just like a newborn baby. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.”

"My grandfather was a baker in the army. He went in all buns glazing."

A little boy gets $5 for his birthday. He runs with it to the candy store and asks for $5 worth of candy.

The man behind the counter asks, “Do you really think it’s wise to spend all your birthday money on candy?”

The little boy thinks about it for a moment and replies, “Well, my grandpa did live to be 94…”

“By eating candy everyday?” Asks the man, astounded.

“No,” replies the little boy, “by minding his own business.”

"My grandpa used to sprinkle a tablespoon of gunpowder on his eggs every morning. He said it gave him energy through the day. When he died at the ripe old age of 96, he left behind a grieving wife, 6 children, 14 grandchildren, 3 great grandchildren and a 25 foot hole in the side of the crematorium."

"What happened when grandma accidentally dropped the basket of ironed laundry? We watched it all unfold."

What happened when grandma decided to take action against the airline for losing her luggage?

She lost her case.

"My dear old grandmother always used to say that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach. That's why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon."

"My grandpa said he was built upside down. He said his nose runs and his feet smell."

"My grandmother bakes cookies the fastest. It literally takes here nana-seconds."

"My grandpa is 95 years old and he doesn't even use glasses. He drinks straight from the bottle."

Why did grandma put wheels on her rocking chair?

She wanted to rock 'n' roll!

"My grandpa always used to say, "when one door closes, another one opens". He was a good man, but a lousy cabinet maker."

"My grandpa tired to warn everyone that the titanic was going to sink. When everyone ignored him, he yelled at them three more times. Eventually, they got irritated and kicked him out of the movie theater."

What's the difference between an all-you-can-eat restaurant and your grandma's cooking?

At an all-you-can-eat restaurant, you decide when you're full.

What did Rihanna say to her grandmother with Alzheimer's?

"Oh nana, what's my name?"

Why do grandparents count pennies?

They're the only ones who have the time.