Being a grandparent is as much of a responsibility as being a parent, and maybe even more so. You have to remember all your grandchildren’s favorite foods, know how to regulate a large number of kids in one room, and be a comfort to your grandchildren when they are battling the world (even if it’s because mom and dad won’t let them get a tattoo before college). Of course, we as grandchildren love them with all our hearts in return. And as it usually happens when you love someone, we joke about them too.
Most grandma jokes are about how grandma will never let you leave her house without a substantial meal (or two), and if my grandma is any indication, that joke is just a life fact. I could never understand how she managed to have the exact food I was craving ready on the stove, and a couple of others “just in case.”
Grandpas, on the other hand, are all about adventures and storytelling. A fun grandpa will build a miniature railway with you or take you fishing during the day and read a book on Egyptian history with you in the evening. So if you ever went to the house of your grandparent saying that you weren’t hungry and didn’t want to have fun, I honestly have no idea how you planned to get away with that nonsense.
By the way, did you know that many countries celebrate a special holiday known as Grandparents’ Day? On that day, you can spend some extra time with your grandparents or, if they live too far away, send them a postcard. You will find a great selection of beautiful postcards with quotes about grandparents in most bookstores.
For this article, we collected a lot of grandparent quotes you can put on a handmade card or a T-shirt. We also put together heaps of jokes for grandparents to enjoy with their grandchildren.
#21
How did Grandma describe her cataract surgery?
It was an eye-opening experience for her.
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#22
What changed grandma's opinion about heart transplants?
She had a change of heart.
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#23
Grandma yells across the room: "Billy, what's the name of that German guy who drives me crazy?"
"It's Alzheimer, grandma".
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#24
"Grandma has been staring through the window ever since it started to snow. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her inside."
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#25
"My grandpa just walked into my room with a young guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast. I asked, "Who is this guy?" Grandpa replied, "My hip replacement.""
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#26
Why do grandparents smile all the time?
Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
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#27
Why did grandpa love grandma so much that he called her "love", "honey", "darling" even after 60 years of marriage?
Because grandpa had forgotten grandma’s name.
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#28
Why are grandparents and grandchildren always close to each other?
They both have a common enemy at the homefront who makes a fuss about eating sweets.
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#29
"After 72 years since not completing her college course, my grandma finally went back and earned her very first diploma... I asked her what will she be wearing for her graduation ceremony and she said "depends.""
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#30
What do you call a walking stick that makes grandma walk faster?
A hurricane.
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#31
"My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open… Which is probably why his submarine sank."
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#32
A dying grandfather tells his grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash."
The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh grandpa, you are SO generous! I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?"
With his last breath, Grandpa whispered, "Facebook..."
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#33
Grandpa died in the hospital because they had the wrong blood type on record.
It was a Type O.
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#34
Why was grandma so fascinated by a reversible sweater she was knitting?
She said, "I want to see how it turns out."
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#35
Grandpa: "I used to have an origami business"
Grandson: "What happened to it?"
Grandpa: "It folded..."
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#36
"My grandpa's last wish was that when he died, we convert his ashes into a diamond. That's a lot of pressure."
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#37
A boy, his dad and his grandpa all hear the same hilarious joke, laugh too hard and pee their pants...
Guess you could say it runs in their jeans!
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#38
When is your grandma's bedtime?
Three hours after she falls asleep in her chair.
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#39
"Today, I went to visit my passed away grandparents, but I accidentally visited the wrong tomb. It was a grave mistake."
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#40
When do you know your grandmother is old enough to retire?
Instead of lying about her age, she started bragging about it!
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