Grandmas are completely out of this world. They are the most caring people who love you, spoil you, share their badass granny stories, and give you the best advice ever. However, grandmas are also fantastic for a host of other reasons. For instance, their struggle with modern technologies is an urban legend, and their old-school sense of humor is worthy of a saga.
It is precisely this duality that makes the perfect recipe for funny grandma jokes. Not convinced? Well then, check out our list of granny jokes that your grandma will find relatable and will make you giggle. These cute grandma jokes, same as grannies themselves, aren’t one-trick ponies, so expect a wide variety of topics discussed. From knitting to weird grandparent texts, from cooking to having geriatric fun, these clever jokes will leave no stones unturned in our cherished matter of grandmothers.
After all, our meemaws are worthy of our best efforts! While a real granny would’ve stuffed your rumbling belly with a hearty home-cooked meal in the time it took you to read this intro, these silly grandma jokes will nourish your soul instead. Which isn’t all that bad when you come to think of it.
Get ready for some innocent fun with these old-people jokes. Upvote your favorite one-liners and share them with your Nana. We assure you that these are all clean jokes to tell your grandma, and she will surely give her stamp of approval. Let’s get started!
#121
Two electricians are up on a pole. A granny walks by. One of the electricians shouts at the granny:
— Hey grandma, can you hold that cable that's on the ground next to you for a bit, please?
The granny picks up the cable. The same electrician then states to the other:
— Told you it was the ground.
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#122
Little girl: "Grandma, make a noise like a frog." Grandma: "Why?"
Little girl: "Cause daddy says we'll make a lot of money when you croak."
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#123
My grandma got a new hearing aid. "It was $5", she said. "What kind is it?" I asked. "Ten-o-clock."
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#124
My grandma called and told me she had a cataract removed. I told her, “Yeah I know, granny. They got my car too.”
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#125
Today my grandma overhead me say that I didn’t like Cvrches. She yelled at me.
She thought I said churches.
She thought I said churches.
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#126
A few days ago was grandparents day at school. I saw one grandma with the number 420 on her wrist! What a silly grandma.
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#127
Little Johnny does poetry. One day in English class, Little Johnny is asked to write a poem. He gets up in front of class and tells them "I've named this poem Old Lady's Underpants. "Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, Grandma's are purple."
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#128
We moved my 87-year-old grandma into a nursing facility run by nuns. It's assisted living.
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#129
Last night I asked my grandma how her life would be affected if a vegan moved next door to her. She told me it won’t affect her in anyway because she’s a grandma.
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#130
Why was grandma arrested for taking a picture?
She was framed.
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#131
Heard about the dinosaur-themed tea party at grandma's place?
She asked me to get tea-rex.
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#132
Why was grandma so fascinated by a reversible sweater she was knitting?
She said, "I want to see how it turns out."
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#133
What did grandma have to say when asked about the process of making pickles from cucumbers?
She said they go through a jarring experience.
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#134
One fine day, I asked my grandmother about a mechanic. She gave me his number and said he is highly wreck'a'mended.
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#135
Grandma just returned from an ophthalmologist. He said there's nothing to worry about, she still has a great vision, and that is truly spec-tacular at this age.
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#136
What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she gave him a scarf for Christmas?
"Gee, you knit?"
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#137
I took my grandma to one of those fish spa's where the fish eat your dead skin. Sooooo much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.
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#138
Whilst this is a joke, my nan actually told me this yesterday and insists it's a true story from the 60s when she lived in Cornwall.
So, my grandma was walking down the street and her neighbor, let's call her Beverley, was heading towards her carrying her shopping but was walking kind of funny.
Naturally, my Nan asked if everything was okay and if she was alright, had she hurt herself? "No", she said, "I'm okay, I've just bought one of those new toilet brushes, but I think I'm going to switch back to paper."
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#139
My fondest childhood memory was making sand castles with grandma. Until my mother hid the urn.
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#140
A grandmother was surprised when she wakes up to a cup of coffee from her 8 year old grandson. She gulped down the most bitter coffee she has ever tasted but she downs it all because she wants her grandson to feel like he made something his grandma loved. At the bottom of the cup, she found three little green army men.
Puzzled, she asked, "Honey, what are these toys doing in my coffee?". The boy replied "I'm just doing what it says on the TV, grandma. The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup."
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