Grandmas are completely out of this world. They are the most caring people who love you, spoil you, share their badass granny stories, and give you the best advice ever. However, grandmas are also fantastic for a host of other reasons. For instance, their struggle with modern technologies is an urban legend, and their old-school sense of humor is worthy of a saga.
It is precisely this duality that makes the perfect recipe for funny grandma jokes. Not convinced? Well then, check out our list of granny jokes that your grandma will find relatable and will make you giggle. These cute grandma jokes, same as grannies themselves, aren’t one-trick ponies, so expect a wide variety of topics discussed. From knitting to weird grandparent texts, from cooking to having geriatric fun, these clever jokes will leave no stones unturned in our cherished matter of grandmothers.
After all, our meemaws are worthy of our best efforts! While a real granny would’ve stuffed your rumbling belly with a hearty home-cooked meal in the time it took you to read this intro, these silly grandma jokes will nourish your soul instead. Which isn’t all that bad when you come to think of it.
Get ready for some innocent fun with these old-people jokes. Upvote your favorite one-liners and share them with your Nana. We assure you that these are all clean jokes to tell your grandma, and she will surely give her stamp of approval. Let’s get started!
#21
A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his grandma, “How was I born?”
His grandma awkwardly answers, “The stork brought you.”
“Oh,” says the boy. “Well, how were mummy and daddy born?”
“Um, well, the stork brought them, too, and your grandpa and I.”
The boy begins his paper, “This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn’t been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations.”
unknown
Report16points
What Are Grandmas Known For?
The best thing about these funny grandma quotes and jokes is that they are based on reality. Grannies are loving, kind, and full of enthusiasm for their grandkids. Now that they’ve passed motherhood, they can skip diaper duty and discipline to spoil their grandchildren. Here are a few of the things that all meemaws do that make them incredibly special:
They Won’t Let You Go Hungry
Like many of these one-liner grandma jokes, grannies love cooking and feeding their grandkids. Whether it’s pies, bakes, desserts, or a four-course meal, every grandma has signature dishes that encompass all her love.
They’ll Stitch up a Storm
Almost every grandma knows how to stitch. If you’ve got a sweater from grandma, consider yourself extremely lucky and wear it proudly.
They Have Candy That You Can’t Find Anywhere Else
Grandmas are extremely sweet, and they love to pass that sweetness on to others. Somehow, you’ll always find your granny with a handful of sweets or hard candies. Interestingly, some candies are impossible to find anywhere else!
#22
On her death bed, the last words that my grandma told my grandpa was, “Honey, I’ll see you in heaven!”
Since then, he’s been kicking puppies and robbing stores every day.
unknown
Report16points
#23
My grandma has been walking 5 miles a day since she was 57. She’s 92 now, and we have no idea where she is.
unknown
Report16points
#24
"My grandma died peacefully, 93, in the chair."
"Nice way to go."
"The dentist was very upset, though."
unknown
Report16points
#25
A girl is singing her favorite songs. Her grandma comes in the room and says:
"Oh, that was you, I thought it was the radio."
Girl: "And you came to listen granny!?"
Grandma: "Naw, I wanted to turn off the radio."
unknown
Report16points
#26
Why did the grandmother throw the watch out of the window?
She wanted to see time fly.
unknown
Report15points
#27
Grandmas put wheels on their rocking chairs so that they can rock and roll.
unknown
Report15points
#28
When my grandma died, I had her cremated and put her ashes in a trophy that said “World’s Best Grandma.”
She urned it.
unknown
Report14points
#29
A dying grandma tells her grandchild, “I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash.”
The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, “Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn’t even know you had a farm. Where is it?”
With her last breath, grandma whispered, “Facebook.”
unknown
Report14points
#30
"Hey grandson, what's the name of that german man who makes me go crazy?"
"Alzheimer, grandma, Alzheimer"
unknown
Report14points
#31
I like Ouija boards. It's the only game I can still play with grandma.
unknown
Report14points
#32
How did Grandma describe her cataract surgery?
It was an eye-opening experience for her.
unknown
Report13points
#33
My grandmother was a Math teacher. We were discussing infinity the other day, and it kept going on forever.
unknown
Report13points
#34
What is the worst response to "I love you"?
"I'm still pulling the plug Grandma"
unknown
Report13points
#35
A boy is loudly praying, "God please give me a bicycle." His mom asks, "Why are you praying so loudly? God isn't hard of hearing." The boy replies, "Yes but grandma is."
unknown
Report13points
#36
My sister put our grandma on speed dial. I guess now we can call her Insta- gran.
unknown
Report12points
#37
Why do grandmas smile all the time?
Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
unknown
Report12points
#38
My grandma is kind of like the Chinese government.
Visitors only see the nice china.
unknown
Report12points
#39
I just heard that my grandma has finally stopped smoking. We can collect her ashes tomorrow.
unknown
Report12points
#40
My great grandma couldn’t stop giggling at our large family barbecue. I asked her what she found so funny? “Everyone here is alive, because I got laid.” she said.
unknown
Report12points
