First of all - congrats! Felicitations on finally admitting that you are, in fact, an adult. And yes, funny text jokes for adults are your thing now. Sure, these text jokes might look familiar at first glance, but trust us – they’ve earned the “for adults” label for a reason.
Whether you’re a fan of dirty jokes, clever one-liners, or even longer storytelling in funny long jokes, this list offers bite-sized humor you can copy, paste, and fire off in your next message.
And why the emphasis on text jokes? Because you’re still part of the cool crowd who prefers typing out punchlines instead of sending voice notes. Voice memos are fine, but can they deliver a perfectly timed pun or a witty one-liner like a well-crafted text joke? We think not. So if you’re ready to upgrade your message game, you’re in the right place.
Below are some of the funniest short jokes for adults to text your friends. Scroll down, laugh out loud, and don’t forget to vote for your favorites. And if you’re into even more spicy humor, check out these flirty jokes or these ridiculous short people jokes while you’re at it.
#81
What's the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurty!
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#82
Why don't people like Russian dolls?
Because they are full of themselves!
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#83
I used to hate facial hair.
But then it grew on me!
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#84

Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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#85
What do you call an American bee?
A USB!
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#86
I always say no to alcohol.
It just doesn’t listen.
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#87

If you jogged backwards would you gain weight?
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#88
I went to a beekeeper to buy a dozen bees.
He counted out 13 and gave them to me.
So, being an honest person I told him, “Sir, you gave me one too many!”
He counted out 13 and gave them to me.
So, being an honest person I told him, “Sir, you gave me one too many!”
He looked at me and said, “That one’s a freebie!”
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#89

What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
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#90
A couple of cannibals are having lunch.
One says to the other, “Man, I hate your mother.”
The other says, “Try the potatoes, then.”
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#91
Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions?
I do.
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#92
My father has schizophrenia, but he’s good people.
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#93

People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.
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#94
Two fish are in a tank.
One says, ‘How do you drive this thing?’
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#95
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
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#96
Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.
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#97

I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected.
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#98
People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.
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#99
I just got kicked out of a secret cooking society.
I spilled the beans.
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#100
Two Wi-Fi engineers got married.
The reception was fantastic.
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