First of all - congrats! Felicitations on finally admitting that you are, in fact, an adult. And yes, funny text jokes for adults are your thing now. Sure, these text jokes might look familiar at first glance, but trust us – they’ve earned the “for adults” label for a reason.
Whether you’re a fan of dirty jokes, clever one-liners, or even longer storytelling in funny long jokes, this list offers bite-sized humor you can copy, paste, and fire off in your next message.
And why the emphasis on text jokes? Because you’re still part of the cool crowd who prefers typing out punchlines instead of sending voice notes. Voice memos are fine, but can they deliver a perfectly timed pun or a witty one-liner like a well-crafted text joke? We think not. So if you’re ready to upgrade your message game, you’re in the right place.
Below are some of the funniest short jokes for adults to text your friends. Scroll down, laugh out loud, and don’t forget to vote for your favorites. And if you’re into even more spicy humor, check out these flirty jokes or these ridiculous short people jokes while you’re at it.
#61
A blind man walked into a bar… and a table… and a chair…
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#62
Why do mushrooms get invited to all the best parties?
Because they are such fungis!
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#63
Can February March?
No, but April May!
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#64
Why did the hipster burn his tongue on coffee?
Because he drank it before it was cool!
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#65

What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships!
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#66
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent and Nickleback.
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#67
What’s the difference between an Irish funeral and an Irish wedding?
One less drunk.
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#68
Why are pirates called pirates?
‘Cause they arrr!
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#69

How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was Able.
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#70
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor guy.
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#71
Pretentious?
Moi?
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#72
What do you call a magician without magic?
Ian.
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#73

I always take life with a grain of salt.
And a slice of lemon.
And a shot of tequila.
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#74
Blunt pencils are really pointless.
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#75 Tap These Into Your Group Chat
Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance training.
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#76
The man who invented Velcro has died.
RIP.
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#77
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
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#78
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot!
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#79
Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?
They'd crack each other up!
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#80

Who cleans the ocean?
Mer-maids!
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