First of all - congrats! Felicitations on finally admitting that you are, in fact, an adult. And yes, funny text jokes for adults are your thing now. Sure, these text jokes might look familiar at first glance, but trust us – they’ve earned the “for adults” label for a reason.
Whether you’re a fan of dirty jokes, clever one-liners, or even longer storytelling in funny long jokes, this list offers bite-sized humor you can copy, paste, and fire off in your next message.
And why the emphasis on text jokes? Because you’re still part of the cool crowd who prefers typing out punchlines instead of sending voice notes. Voice memos are fine, but can they deliver a perfectly timed pun or a witty one-liner like a well-crafted text joke? We think not. So if you’re ready to upgrade your message game, you’re in the right place.
Below are some of the funniest short jokes for adults to text your friends. Scroll down, laugh out loud, and don’t forget to vote for your favorites. And if you’re into even more spicy humor, check out these flirty jokes or these ridiculous short people jokes while you’re at it.
#41

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
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#42

6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
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#43
A book fell on my head the other day.
I only have my shelf to blame though.
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#44

You can't trust atoms.
They make up everything!
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#45 Witty Words For Grown-Up Laughs
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
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#46
What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved!
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#47
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It was tense!
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#48
There are three kinds of people in this world.
Those who can count and those who can’t.
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#49

Always remember – you’re unique.
Just like everyone else.
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#50
I never make mistakes…
I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
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#51
Did you know the Pentagon was originally going to just be a square but the contractor kept cutting corners?
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#52
Never argue with a fool.
They’ll lower you to their level, and then beat you with experience.
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#53

Install mirrors?
Now that’s a job I can see myself doing!
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#54
I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
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#55
I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is ‘Goodbye.’
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#56
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.
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#57
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.
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#58
The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family.
It’s that no one runs in your family.
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#59
Last night my girlfriend was complaining that I never listen to her… or something like that.
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#60 Copy, Paste, Giggle

My friend was explaining electricity to me, but I was like, ‘Watt?’
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