First of all - congrats! Felicitations on finally admitting that you are, in fact, an adult. And yes, funny text jokes for adults are your thing now. Sure, these text jokes might look familiar at first glance, but trust us – they’ve earned the “for adults” label for a reason.
Whether you’re a fan of dirty jokes, clever one-liners, or even longer storytelling in funny long jokes, this list offers bite-sized humor you can copy, paste, and fire off in your next message.
And why the emphasis on text jokes? Because you’re still part of the cool crowd who prefers typing out punchlines instead of sending voice notes. Voice memos are fine, but can they deliver a perfectly timed pun or a witty one-liner like a well-crafted text joke? We think not. So if you’re ready to upgrade your message game, you’re in the right place.
Below are some of the funniest short jokes for adults to text your friends. Scroll down, laugh out loud, and don’t forget to vote for your favorites. And if you’re into even more spicy humor, check out these flirty jokes or these ridiculous short people jokes while you’re at it.
#21
Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
unknown
Report15points
#22
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
I had to put my foot down.
unknown
Report15points
#23
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.
She seemed surprised.
unknown
Report15points
#24
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
unknown
Report15points
#25

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts.’
Which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.
unknown
Report15points
#26
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
unknown
Report15points
#27
I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them.
unknown
Report15points
#28
You’ll never guess who I bumped into on my way to the opticians.
Everyone.
unknown
Report14points
#29

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
unknown
Report14points
#30
Did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut!
unknown
Report13points
#31
Aim for the stars.
But first, aim for their bodyguards.
unknown
Report13points
#32
The bartender says, “We don’t serve time travellers here.”
A time traveller walks into a bar.
unknown
Report13points
#33

It was an emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tiers.
unknown
Report13points
#34
Four fonts walk into a bar.
The bartender says, ‘Hey! We don’t want your type in here!’
unknown
Report13points
#35
The world champion tongue twister got arrested. I hear they’re going to give him a tough sentence.
unknown
Report12points
#36
Geology rocks, but geography’s where it’s at.
unknown
Report12points
#37

How do you fix a broken tomato?
Tomato paste!
unknown
Report11points
#38
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
unknown
Report11points
#39
Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
unknown
Report11points
#40
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
unknown
Report11points



