Argue all you want, but deep down inside, we all know that being a mom is the hardest job on the planet. Especially so if you're a mom to a human baby - the most imperfect of all mammal babies with its hairless skin, wicked thermoregulation, gassy tummy, poopy pants, and the inability to run from danger right after birth. See how much harder the task becomes when your baby is basically a helpless egg? Well, helpless but at least a terribly, incredibly, devastatingly adorable, life-changing, heavenly egg. But let's go back to the behemoth task of being a mom. As we've all agreed, it's incredibly hard, right? And what do you do with things in life that are fabulously arduous? You make fun of them, of course! So, to all the moms-to-be, the seasoned moms, and hopeful moms, we present our list of the funniest mom quotes that we could find!
This is a real compendium of mom life troubles - from babies and their sharp nails lovingly scratching your face to blaming your farts on them; no topic is beyond limits in these mommy quotes. However, all of them carry the notion of a mother's love with it, so even the most hilarious jokes are really an expression of this all-encompassing love that a mother feels for her children. So, laugh at them all you want, Mom, without feeling any unease by amusing yourself about your little bundle of trouble!
I guess you're on limited time here, Mom, so without any further ado, let's just skip right to the funny quotes. All of them are just a little bit further down, as they always are. Once you are there, vote for the cute mom quotes that you've enjoyed the most, but be sure to laugh quickly so as not to wake your sleeping angel! Also, don't forget to share these silly quotes with your friends, as they might need some comic relief from their duties, too.
#61
"It’s the best acting of my life right here, the well-rested woman. It’s my finest role." - Kerry Washington
unknown
Report24points
#62
"Woke up to two toddlers and a kitchen covered in flour. But I slept until 7 a.m. so we are going to call that a win."
unknown
Report24points
#63
“My mother, she is beautiful, softened at the edges, and tempered with a spine of steel. I want to grow old and be like her.” - Jodi Picoult
unknown
Report24points
#64
“I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.” - Calvin
unknown
Report24points
#65
"Children are like crazy, drunken small people in your house." - Julie Bowen
unknown
Report23points
#66
"Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I'm looking forward to investigating in the future." - Amy Poehler
unknown
Report22points
#67
"Motherhood: feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties."
unknown
Report22points
#68
"When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway." - Erma Bombeck
unknown
Report22points
#69
"I've learned that it's way harder to be a baby. For instance, I haven't thrown up since the '90s and she's thrown up twice since we started this interview." - Eva Mendes
unknown
Report22points
#70
"Meditation is my thing. But I’m not going to lie: sometimes I go into my closet and lock the door so no one can find me." - Gwen Stefani
unknown
Report22points
#71
"I didn't full wrap my head around the fact that there would be a person at the end of it. I read endlessly about pregnancy and what to eat and what not to eat. And then I sort of prepared not at all for the actual baby." - Ellie Kemper
unknown
Report22points
#72
“Motherhood is tough. If you just want a wonderful little creature to love, you can get a puppy.” - Barbara Walters
unknown
Report22points
#73
"A mother is the person you can always call to see how long chicken lasts in the fridge."
unknown
Report22points
#74
“How do I explain [my mom]? She is as respected as Mother Theresa, as powerful as Stalin, and as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.” - Leslie Knope
unknown
Report22points
#75
“My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it."
unknown
Report21points
#76
"You never know when you're gonna get crapped on or when you're gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics. It might be like living with a drug addict." - Blake Lively
unknown
Report21points
#77
“Million-dollar beauty product: face cream called ‘Before Kids.'”
unknown
Report21points
#78
"You can have eight hours of sleep, or you can have children. You cannot, in fact, have both."
unknown
Report20points
#79
"Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts." - Tina Fey
unknown
Report19points
#80
"A suburban mother's role is to deliver children; obstetrically once and by car forever after." - Peter De Vries
unknown
Report19points
