50 Of The Most Embarrassing Things That Kids Have Ever Said In Public

My son is curious about whether I'm pee'ing or pooping. We were at a restuarant enjoying ourselves when I sneaked out for a smoke. I told my son I was going to the bathroom. Once I get half way across the restaurant, I hear "Daddy! Pee or Poop?". Naturally I just kept walking, pretending like he wasn't mine

When I was like four, my mother had to get a colonoscopy, and afterward we went to the grocery store. Someone she knew came up and started chatting with my mother and I just decided to blurt out "MY MOM HAS BUTT PROBLEMS!" I'm pretty sure she just wanted to melt into the floor and disappear.

When my daughter was 3 she told the checkout lady at the video store that she was going to grow a penis just like her daddy when she got older.

My son was about 2 when we went to church one Sunday...the bag for collection came around...he threw his coins in,and just as my hubby wanted to pass the bag on, he stopped his daddy, stuck his hand in the bag again and said out loud" Got to get me some Change".... I nearly died and the whole congregation bursted out laughing.

My oldest daughter who is now just over 4 now was about 3 1/2 when we made a trip to walmart. I had to grab body wash which is right by the pickup window for the pharmacy (and there just happened to be a very long line of people) I handed her the body wash and she says "is this to wash your stinky butt?" And if that wasnt bad enough, the ky and condoms are right beside that and she grabs a box of ky and says "look mommy, its the slippy stuff that you and daddy have beside your bed".

An old woman wearing an eye patch walked into a quiet restaurant and my tree-year-old son jumped up and yelled "LOOK IT'S A PIRATE! JUST LIKE JAKE AND CAPTAIN HOOK!"

I was in line at a family party. The kid in front of me yelled mom I want a beer!

He meant root beer she told us. Quite few times.

We were at a school function for my oldest son who was in the fourth grade. his mom was with him and i was charged with the younger two boys - aged 5 and 4. as i and my charges sat down at a bench table in the cafeteria, a woman with a young boy sat down across from us. taking one look at the other boy, my 4 year old smacked me on the arm and blurted out - "How come i had to take a bath to come here when He didnt?"

I was young (three or four) with my aunt at the grocery store. We passed a young girl my age and her mom. The young girl was crying and I said "Don't worry, one day your boobies and my penis will grow like our parents!"

Playing with my daughter when she was six and singing Little Bunny Foo-Foo… After a minute she stopped and said “wow, that Bunny Foo-Foo is a real b****!”

Walking through a department store lingerie department and my then 5 year old bellows, “Mama, why are you looking at panties? You don’t wear those!”

My son telling a random stranger with a dog , “You know what my dog does? He humps me.”

Younger daughter to older daughter
Yd: is she a girl (woman at cash register)
Od: yes! Ssh!
Yd: then why doesn't she have any boobs???

4 year old son, loudly to me in a crowded deli: mommy, please get your vagina out of my face!

When my daughter was very young, we were at the store buying tampons amongst other things. My daughter points to the tampons and quite loudly informed the cashier that "my Mommy needs those 'cause her vagina is bleeding"

I was in Thorntons one Christmas and my then three-year-old asked for 'a black man lolly.
He meant a milk chocolate lolly of Santa instead of a white chocolate one. I nearly died.

When I was getting my contraceptive pill my daughter Maddie asked what the tablet was for and I told her it was to stop me having babies as me and Daddy didn't want any more.
Maddie piped up: "I want a sister, stop taking it and trick Daddy." I wanted the floor to swallow me up

Apparently when I was about 3 years old I told my grandparents that "mammy & daddy were doing their exercises in bed this morning!"

My friends home was crowded with family down for a wedding so sleeping arrangements were chaos. Still my friend thought she'd organised it well until her 5yr olds teacher (and family friend) rang and, trying not to laugh, said that her son instead of giving his planned show and tell said 'When I got up this morning my uncle was in mummy's bed and making lots of noise' (he is a large man who snores loudly). He forgot to add that his mummy and daddy were asleep on the fold up bed downstairs. Luckily the teacher was able to explain to the reading aid mothers in the classroom before my friends reputation was totally destroyed.

When my daughter was in the infant school, I remember putting her teacher right about something she had written in her diary. "I take no notice", she said,."I've heard it all, especially when they write that while their daddy was away at work, an uncle came to visit mummy"