Being a kid is great, because you can embarrass your parents as much as you want without feeling even slightly bad about it. Take a look at this hilarious list of embarrassing kid quotes to see what we mean. Compiled by Bored Panda, the list contains some of the funniest, the weirdest, and the most unexpected words to exit the mouths of children. It serves as a reminder that, even though growing up has its benefits, there's nothing quite as liberating as saying exactly what you think in a crowded place and letting somebody else apologize for you. Don't forget to vote for the funniest!
#101
My son informed my mother in law that my husband hid from her when he saw her at Whole Foods.
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10points
#102
My daughter was 2 years old and told the cashier at the grocery store; "Sometimes daddy pulls on mommy's nightgown and mommy says 'no'."
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10points
#103
I made eye contact with a barefoot baby held by the mother in a grocery store. I said to my 6 yr old son in a normal voice, "I could just eat up those toes". He then yells out, "My mom wants to eat your baby!".
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10points
#104
"I'm so hungry, I could eat the baby Jesus!" ~4 year old boy in church on Christmas.
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10points
#105
On holiday with mine in the pool... children's dad was pretending to be a dragon and chasing us all. He dunked me, obviously, so I told him to stop being ridiculous. When he then chased my daughter, she screamed at the top of her lungs, 'Stop it! You dickless dragon...'
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10points
#106
'Mommy, look at that giant cock!' Ikea with my two year old who had problems with the L sound.
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9points
#107
When one of my cousins was 2 he loved blue berries but he couldn't say it right. So every time he asked for some he would say "I want some boobies!"
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9points
#108
I'm an American living in the UK. I flew back to the US with my nearly 3-year old daughter in March. We ended up flying all over the damned US to see family because apparently no one else knows how to buy a plane ticket. I digress. As the three quarters full flight from Detroit into Cedar Rapids was about to take off, I look over at my daughter and she's got her shirt over her head. In my usual Mom voice I ask her what she's doing. She proceeds to scream, "I'M PLAYING WITH MY NIPPLES!"
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8points
#109
My daughter to my mother in a busy clothing store: Gramma, your teeth are such a pretty yellow!
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8points
#110
From my lovely three-year old:
When he was about 2.5, I took him shopping with me and a friend at a mall. She wanted to go into Victoria's Secret to look at some sweatpants. We went in with her, and I was walking around with him. Well, they have mannequins modeling their different styles of underwear. When he saw one, my son got really excited and starting shouting: "A BUTT! LOOK MOMMY!! LOOK? DO YOU SEE IT?!?! A BUTT!!!!! A BUTT!!!" in that loud excited voice that toddlers tend to have.
When he was about 2.5, I took him shopping with me and a friend at a mall. She wanted to go into Victoria's Secret to look at some sweatpants. We went in with her, and I was walking around with him. Well, they have mannequins modeling their different styles of underwear. When he saw one, my son got really excited and starting shouting: "A BUTT! LOOK MOMMY!! LOOK? DO YOU SEE IT?!?! A BUTT!!!!! A BUTT!!!" in that loud excited voice that toddlers tend to have.
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8points
#111
I have 2. At the age of 1.5, upon seeing his first dwarf/midget/small person, my son made clicking sounds as if calling a dog and slapped his knees saying, "Come here little daddy."
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8points
#112
Monday morning, preschool teacher asks my daughter "Did you have a fun weekend?" My daughter plays shy so I say "Tell her where we went this weekend," thinking she'll tell the teacher about our trip to the playground. Daughter's answer "We went on a beer run!"
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8points
#113
My half Korean niece loved Elton John's song Honky Cat when she was about 4. One day in the grocery, she was singing Honky Cat. Then she began pointing at random white people and saying "hey, Honky!"
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8points
#114
My friend's 4 year old interrupted mom's book club to ask if he could "go upstairs and powder his balls."
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8points
#116
I had taken my charges to the zoo a few years back on Valentine's Day. My oldest charge was 6 at the time, and sparked this conversation with me:
Kid: "The snow leopard is sad."
Me: "Oh, why's that?"
Kid: "Well, she doesn't have a boyfriend."
Me: "How come?"
Kid: "She has big feet. Boys don't like girls who have big feet.
Then he proceeds to look down at my feet, looks up at me and says, "Brittany, is that why you don't have a boyfriend?"
Kid: "The snow leopard is sad."
Me: "Oh, why's that?"
Kid: "Well, she doesn't have a boyfriend."
Me: "How come?"
Kid: "She has big feet. Boys don't like girls who have big feet.
Then he proceeds to look down at my feet, looks up at me and says, "Brittany, is that why you don't have a boyfriend?"
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7points
#117
My brother once asked my mom why a lady's stomach was so big. She answered it was because the lady was pregnant. Loudly, my brother asked the follow-up question, "Is that why her butt's so big, too?!"
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6points
#118
When my son was a toddler, and first learned that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina, he felt the need to constantly confirm people's genital status. He would ask me "Does she have a vagina?" ,"Does he have a penis?" for every person he saw when we were out and about. That was fairly manageable. But then, he mastered it, and he didn't ask anymore, he labeled. As we grocery shopped, he pointed and loudly announced "penis!" and "vagina!" at every retiree in the commissary that morning.
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6points
#119
I was at a store when a toddler was asking her mother for something. The mother was very agitated at the toddler and the toddler blurted out “Mommy needs more wine!”
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6points
#120
My son, then five, was on his first soccer team. The color of the team was blue. The coach and the team gather around to choose a name. “Any ideas?”, the coach asks. My son yells out “Blue balls!”
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6points