Being a kid is great, because you can embarrass your parents as much as you want without feeling even slightly bad about it. Take a look at this hilarious list of embarrassing kid quotes to see what we mean. Compiled by Bored Panda, the list contains some of the funniest, the weirdest, and the most unexpected words to exit the mouths of children. It serves as a reminder that, even though growing up has its benefits, there's nothing quite as liberating as saying exactly what you think in a crowded place and letting somebody else apologize for you. Don't forget to vote for the funniest!
#81
My son at about three years old was fascinated my the uvula in my throat. He thought it looked like a "pee pee". So one day we are out and he yells, "my mommy has a pee pee in her mouth!!"
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13points
#82
It was date night, just my 4 year old daughter and I. We went out for a 'fancy' dinner at a nice restaurant. She told me during dinner "Are you going to be able to walk or am I going to have to roll you out of here?"
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12points
#83
While getting communion, I was holding my two year old daughter. After I received communion my daughter promptly said, “Where’s my damn cookie?”
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12points
#84
My daughter was standing up for show and tell in front of her kinder class. She didn't show her beanie baby that she'd brought...oh no! This is what occurred..
"Okay Hannah what is your show and tell item?"
"Okay Hannah what is your show and tell item?"
"Mrs Tetley when my mom woke up this morning she was in a goddamned pool of blood and there was so much it was on my Daddy's leg. He said it was like a goddamn blood bath".
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12points
#85
My daughter, 4 at the time was riding her balance bike down a hill and was unable to stop at the bottom. She ran into a small wall and began to scream, "OW MY NUTSACK, I HIT MY NUTSACK". She had heard it from her older brother. This was during a local kite festival so there were plenty of parent s and children around to give us the stink eye. I laughed my ass off, my wife was not as happy.
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12points
#86
I was standing in line at the grocery store behind a mother and her waist high child. The child decided to hug the mother, putting child's face into groin of mother. The child reared back and exclaimed "MOM! YOUR FRONT BUTT STINKS!" The whole grocery store nearly screeched to a halt as the mother paid quickly and left.
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12points
#87
I was renting a movie at the video store and was asking the checker when I need to return it when my little girl said "We're just gonna copy it anyway."
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12points
#88
We were in an elevator at a hotel going to the pool. It was me, my 5-year-old son, a teenage boy, and his dad. Suddenly, my son announces, “My mom isn’t usually half naked, we’re going swimming.”
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12points
#89
While discussing the 10 Commandments at Vacation Bible School (!), comparing "God's Rules" with rules the kids might have at home, my oldest -- then about 7 -- spouted: AT MY HOUSE, YOU DON'T DRINK FROM MOM'S CUP OF SODA WHEN IT HAS LIQUOR IN IT!
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12points
#90
My friend let his his daughter go in the front when no one else is in the car as a treat and she announced in public! "When me and daddy are in the car alone we do a secret thing"
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12points
#91
My daughter asking (very loudly), "Daddy, why did the white lady and the black man not make a tan baby?"
Standing directly in front of us with their white-as-snow baby.
Standing directly in front of us with their white-as-snow baby.
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11points
#92
My daughter was about 3 when we were attending a wedding out of town. I was running a business at the time, so she was in her dad's care in the morning. She arrived at my business dressed in her cute little outfit for the wedding. After doing her hair we set off for the wedding. Just as the bride and groom were walking back down the aisle after the ceremony, my daughter, who was standing on the pew next to me so she could see, loudly announced "Mommy, I'm not wearing any panties!!".
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11points
#93
We were at the store and my son (then about three) pointed at the sanitary napkins and shouted, "LOOK! It's your MOMMY DIAPERS! You need those, don't you?!"
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11points
#94
During a quiet moment in church my kid randomly blurted out ‘Did you know aliens don’t have penises.
Unknown
Report11points
#95
Apparently when I was young, for a few days, my preferred greeting to strangers was : "hi! My name is kevin and that's my mom Nancy. Her pants size is 3XL"
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11points
#96
We were at my grandpa's 80th birthday dinner two weeks ago. My aunt and uncle were talking to my 6-year-old daughter about how my uncle and grandpa have no hair on their heads. My daughter proudly and loudly announced, 'Well, my mommy has hair on her bottom
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11points
#97
At a Halloween party a few years ago everyone was talking about nicknames and, for some reason, my son told everyone tat my nickname was "Sugartits".
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10points
#98
One time while in the fitting room, I overheard a little boy say, quite loudly, “Mommy, are you buying this new swimsuit because you poop-farted in your one last year?”
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10points
#99
My daughter once yelled out “I LOVE VAGINA” as loud as possible in a Walmart. Too bad she was actually referring to LASAGNA – which is what we were having for dinner.
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10points
#100
“My mommy has a baby in her tummy and when it finds the hole, it’s going to come out!”
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10points