50 Of The Most Embarrassing Things That Kids Have Ever Said In Public

My 3 year old recently asked "Mommy, Let me see your penis!" while we were outside in our front yard. As per proper protocol of not divulging more information than required, I responded with "Mommy doesn't have a penis." Unfortunately, he was not happy with that response and began chanting to see my penis and tried to physically pull my pants down to look. Thank goodness for maternity pants and being 9 months pregnant at the time to block his access!

Not my own child, but my sister. My entire family was at the airport going somewhere for the holidays. My younger sister, who was about 5 or so at the time, had never been outside of the Northeast United States, and as a result, hasn't really been exposed to many people who weren't white. So we were just waiting by the bathrooms at the airport when suddenly an African-American security guard walks by. My sister decides this is the opportune time to shout at the top of her little-kid lungs, "COOL, A BLACK GUY! WELL IT IS ALMOST MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY!" Apparently they had been learning about black history in school. My parents immediately began freaking out, apologizing to the security guard. He just smiled and walked away.

This wasn't my sister's last "incident", however. A few weeks later she decided to point out a "little person" at the grocery store. By exclaiming "Hey, look mom! A troll!" My parents stopped taking her out in public after that...

My friends daughter walked in on her changing her pad in the bathroom. Later that day they're in the check out line & the daughter yells "MY MOMMY'S PEE PEE IS ALL BLOODY!" She left the cart & they went straight to the car.

I was not there but my wife and my daughter when she was about 4 were in a book store. this was the mid 90s and I had a lot of those For Dummies books around looking into emerging technologies and on display at the store was a Sex For Dummies book. The kid says, "Look Mommy, Daddy has that book."

One time, in the middle pf a store, my six-year-old blurted out, "I WANT TO BE A POLE DANCER!"

When I was young around 4 or 5, my family took a trip to Yellowstone park. We went to go see the geyser old faithful, and me being the excited youngster that I was yelled at the top of my lungs, "SHE'S GONNA BLOW BABBY!". My parents quickly left after that.

My three-year-old to my wife, loudly, in a busy restroom: "Mommy, your underwear looks like a cheetah!"

In church, right at the elevation of the Host, my then four year old yelled, “Mom, did you know a cat’s butt is called an ANUS?”

My nine year old daughter said “Dad, Mom said I’m like you. I don’t have any common sense. Is that true?”

During the Lord’s prayer my daughter clearly tells everyone, “Thy will be DUMB”.

Friend's child announced to the restaurant, "drinking Coke, makes you bleed from your penis."

When she was three, our eldest daughter proudly announced in her proudest, loudest voice "My granddad can cough from both ends at the same time." This was in church during a moment of silence.

When I was about 4, I must have had some kind of infection or itch down there, and one morning at breakfast my dad's coworker came in to pick my dad up for work. I said, 'Hi, Don, my vagina hurts!' and he politely ignored me, but I kept saying it over and over and over. 'Don, can you
hear me? My vagina hurts!' Guess I just wanted some acknowledgement, but my parents just wanted to die. The poor guy was doing his best to pay no attention to me, but I was making it pretty difficult.

My 3 yr old son said "oh mom I love your hairy penis!!"

'We wipe front to back mama, because you don't want to get poop in your bagina!'

After watching 'Austin Powers' one night, I took her out to dinner. She saw a short person and yelled out "Look Mama!! There's a midget! They smell like cabbage!!" I hung my head to try to hide my laughter and get my composure then said to the crowd staring..."Sorry, we just watched 'Austin Powers'" then asked for a booth...in the very back....

We were standing in the elevator and my daughter pointed to a lady and said: "mommy who is that crazy lady?"

For about a month after my daughter was born, my son(who was 3.5 years old) would introduce us by saying "This is my mommy, and this is my daddy, and this is my baby sister. She drinks BREAST MILK FROM MOMMY'S BOOBIES. HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

When my daughter was in elementary school, I would wait until she went to bed to watch R-rated movies. She said, in mixed company, that mommy "watches adult movies after I go to bed."

When my daughter was 6, she and I were in line at a gas station in a rough neighborhood. There were others in line you wouldn't be inclined to fuck with, I'll just put it that way. Britney Spears "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman" came on the radio behind the counter. My daughter blurted out "Dad! It's your song!" All I could do was look at everyone staring at me like "no, it's really not." I laughed about it so fucking hard once we got in the car....with the doors locked.