75 People Who Got Married And Then Learned Something They Definitely Wish They Knew Earlier

That he never told his parents I was giving him money to give to them even before I moved in. His parents owned the house he lived in and there were always people staying there for free. I felt bad so when I had extra money I would give him some to give to his parents to help with utilities while also paying rent for my own apartment. He told me his parents told him to keep the money. They didn't know anything about it.

Also, one night he brought some people home from work while we were house sitting for his parents. Some money went missing from the safe and I assumed they stole it. He origionally told his parents that they stole it. After we broke up he told them I was really the one that stole. Turns out he stole the money.

She likes to tell dirty jokes, slaps me on the back and says, “Ya get it, son”?

My wife and I have only been married just under 2 years but we've been together almost 12. We lived together 3 months in so I knew most of her weird habits and routines. Had kids young and struggled but we got there. Better late then never.

One thing that caught me off guard and grosses me out though is her love for french toast and ketchup!! It's the most revolting thing I've ever seen a person eat. For almost a decade she hid this weird obsession all because she knew I don't like ketchup!!

"Wait, you're left handed?"

He cans vegetables. Ya'll. I married a man who cans vegetables.

I hit the jackpot.

That her bottom functions as a low level fog horn some mornings.

He had never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in his life, and I found this out when we were married for more than five years. I made him his first pb&j when he was 30, and he was blown away by how good it was.

The extent to which she thinks farts are funny. She let on that they were humorous before we got married, but now I realize she thinks they're goddam hilarious. A good fart can always put a smile on her face.

After dating for seven years and well-establishing that I like to sleep in when I don't have plans, we got married. Suddenly, idk why, apparently "we" had a bedtime AND in the morning, it was suddenly "time for us to get up." Had to have a stern conversation with my morning-person husband about that real quick. If there's stuff we have to do, yeah sure, but if it's a lazy Sunday, leave me alone and go play video games alone.

He has a really hairy ... place. Like a mustache. But he has relatively sparse body hair everywhere else.

We tried to wax it once.

Edited to add: Oh no... why this comment. Thank god my husband doesn't use reddit and wouldn't know how to navigate it to save his life.

Uhh... so I guess to clarify--I had leftover wax (Sally Hansen Brazilian if anyone was wondering) from doing myself and didn't want it to take up cabinet space so I talked him into letting me wax him. BTW we didn't want to trim it/buzz it since it gets scratchy when the stubs come in (I hate shaving my legs or girl parts for this very reason) and the hairs were too long for my epilator (this is like an electric tweezer that does the job of plucking all the hair out without the messy wax) and I imagined it would hurt a lot more. We did his knuckles and legs and he didn't think it was too bad and one thing led to another we decided to take a look at his taint.

It was weird, like why was it mustache-y? Anyway, I dusted him with baby powder (this way the wax doesn't stick to his skin) and applied the hot wax.

There is a TIFU part to this.

I probably should have trimmed it at least with scissors first because too much hair and the hair wins--the wax gets peeled off the paper as you're stripping it off--so all the pain and none of the reward. Of course, he's screaming and freaking out from the pain and I start laughing hysterically (I'm someone who has that thing where you don't have the right reaction sometimes and most of the time if I'm scared or nervous, I start laughing uncontrollably.)

This gets really weird which was why I hesitated to type this out but --

I have to apply more wax because once the wax on his hair has touched another surface and then peels off, it loses it's stickiness. It's a huge mess at this point too. So I try to go get ice since it would numb the skin and make it hurt less.

I don't have ice in the freezer.

But what I DO have is a bag of individually packaged frozen tuna from Costco.

We eventually get all the wax and hair off.

We never tried it again and I still can't bring myself to buy packaged frozen tuna from Costco (which I used to enjoy using to make tuna tataki.)

Before we got married I loved how sarcastic she was. After we got married I realized she wasn't sarcastic at all, just mean. We're still happily married, though.

That 3/4 of the time he spends in the bathroom is spent on "iPad time". For years I thought he was struggling with digestive issues..... nope, just the Simpsons game.

I'd known that he'd struggled with anxiety and depression throughout his life, but about 5 months after the wedding it really hit hard. We'd just bought a car because he'd been doing well at his first full time job. The stress off needing to work or else crashed down so hard that had to stop completely. The panic attacks were so severe and frequent that he nearly couldn't leave the house. He couldn't drive to work because he'd shake so violently and his arms and legs would go numb. Every morning around 4am he'd wake up to try to go to work and I'd stop him. We'd sit in the dark until he calmed down enough to play a video game for a while. These attacks would happen around 5 times a day. They've dissipated since he formally left the job and we decided that my income was technically enough. I had no idea that anxiety attacks could be that severe, and I wish I could take them away for him, at least so that he could get more out of life.

Since we decided he won't work outside of home, we've started a family and he'll soon be a stay at home dad for our son. Instead of filling my husband with anxiety or terror, I've never seen him so excited and confident in himself.

My wife and I discovered horrifying things about each other, because after we married we shared one car.

I will drink a coffee that has been out all day. It's normal for me to put a giant jug of iced coffee in the car and then sip from it intermittently for many hours.

My wife, it turns out, often feels congested. She'll discreetly hock a gigantic loogie into any discarded coffee cup nearby.

I would drive the car in the morning, then we'd switch midday and she'd take it for the afternoon, then I'd take it back in the evening.

Twice I picked up my neglected coffee and took a loooong draw. The straw was blocked, needed lots of suction, and then something icy and slimy slithered into my mouth.

We have two cars now and I keep them both stocked with tissues at hand.

That he has a THIRD middle name.

He gets a pass though, because he didn't know either. And his amazing pinnacle of love and devotion, his mother, also forgot, and when shown the birth certificate showing a third middle name, wondered aloud, "Now why did I do that?"

That he was married before. We've been married for over 10 years.

I found out last week that the divorce from his first marriage was never filed, so my marriage to him is not valid.

Two months after our wedding, just after we mailed all the thank-you cards to our guests, she calmly suggested an idea about our honeymoon, which was another two months away.

"Let's go as friends."

What she really meant was "Let's get divorced."

She genuinely believes her life is meant to be a tragedy, a belief that I couldn't help her shake off. We did manage to go on the honeymoon as a couple, but we filed for divorce within half a year.

I hope she's okay. I'm having a blasty blast.

He thought the word 'subtle' meant the opposite of what it means. All through dating and the first few years of marriage (~7 years) I just thought he was using it sarcastically.

Also he gets 'horizontal' and 'vertical' confused. As in, he falls down on the bed after a long day and says "Ahhh, it's so nice to finally be vertical."

He has a nice bum, though, so it evens out.

That she leaves one second on the microwave everytime because she doesn't want it to beep......

He hates kitchen cabinets are left open. When I found that out, I'd open a few random ones up every day. It took him awhile to catch on that I was doing it to annoy him. I'd wait until just before he got home to do it because it annoys me too. Every now and again, if I'm not going to be home when he gets here, I'll leave all the cabinets and drawers open just to let him know I was thinking about him.