To make it clear right from the beginning, the football jokes in this list will talk about European football, also known as soccer, to those on the other side of the pond. The football where you kick the ball, rather than grapple for it, the football that most likely stems from 12th-century England, and the one that supplies some of the most famous athletes on our planet. Well, you get the gist - this is our article dedicated to football, a.k.a. soccer jokes, where we lovingly make fun of this ancient game, its fans, and the ball-kicking frenzy that comes with it.
Unlike any other sports jokes, these ones have a particular affinity for the fans. Seems like if it weren’t for them and their unabashed dedication to their teams, football would lose half of its charm. The rivalries between fans are as fierce as (if not fiercer than) those among the teams themselves, and that makes for a very fertile ground for undeniably hilarious jokes. In fact, any rivalry makes for amazing silly jokes, but when it comes to football, the feeling is just unmatched! Of course, these jokes about football will talk about the game itself, too, but you’ll see a definite pattern of devotees taking center stage.
So, get ready for some funny football jokes that wait for you just a smidgen further down. Once you are there, give the best jokes your vote, and be sure to share this article with your football-crazy friends!
#101
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football. Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
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#102
What do democracy and football have in common?
Adding the word “American” completely changes the meaning...
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#103
“In 26 years as Manchester United manager, Sir Alex Ferguson won 13 Premier League trophies, 10 community shields, 5 FA Cups, 4 League cups, 2 Champions Leagues and only used one piece of chewing gum.”
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#104
England and Ethiopia recently played each other in a football match. After a tough match, with both opponents clashing, the scoreline ended in English 8 - Ethiopia didn't.
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#105
Why was Fabio Capello speeding?
To get three points.
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#106
What is 5 feet tall, has 22 legs, and feigns death if you approach it up to two meters?
The Italy national football team.
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#107
Why doesn't Pakistan have its national football team?
Whenever they get a corner, they will set up a shop.
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#108
I was going to tell a football joke, but it had an offensive line.
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#109
What did the ref say to the chicken who tripped a defender?
“Fowl!”
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#110
What do you call someone who stands inside goalposts and stops the ball rolling away?
Annette!
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#111
The new manager of our struggling football team is strict and won’t stand any nonsense. Last Saturday, he caught two fans climbing over the stadium wall and was angry with them. He grabbed them and said: “Get back in there and watch the game until it finishes!”
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#112
Why is a football crowd learning to sing like a person opening a tin of sardines?
They both have trouble with the key!
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#113
Why did the manager bring pencils and sketchbooks into the dressing room before the game?
He was hoping for a draw!
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#114
Have you heard about the new Arsenal Bra?
It has a lot of support but no cups!
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#115
What ship holds 20 football teams but only three leave it each season?
The Premier-ship!
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#116
God and the devil were having an argument, and Satan proposed a football game between heaven and hell to resolve the dispute. God, in his eternal goodness, pointed out that it wouldn’t be a fair match because all the ‘good’ players go to heaven. The devil smiled, replying, “Yes, but we’ve got all the refs.”
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#117
Which soccer team has nailed their formation?
The Hammers.
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#118
What’s the chilliest ground in the Premiership?
Cold Trafford!
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#119
How did the football pitch end up as a triangle?
Somebody took a corner!
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#120
What's really healthy and scores a lot of goals?
Fruit Salah!
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