To make it clear right from the beginning, the football jokes in this list will talk about European football, also known as soccer, to those on the other side of the pond. The football where you kick the ball, rather than grapple for it, the football that most likely stems from 12th-century England, and the one that supplies some of the most famous athletes on our planet. Well, you get the gist - this is our article dedicated to football, a.k.a. soccer jokes, where we lovingly make fun of this ancient game, its fans, and the ball-kicking frenzy that comes with it.
Unlike any other sports jokes, these ones have a particular affinity for the fans. Seems like if it weren’t for them and their unabashed dedication to their teams, football would lose half of its charm. The rivalries between fans are as fierce as (if not fiercer than) those among the teams themselves, and that makes for a very fertile ground for undeniably hilarious jokes. In fact, any rivalry makes for amazing silly jokes, but when it comes to football, the feeling is just unmatched! Of course, these jokes about football will talk about the game itself, too, but you’ll see a definite pattern of devotees taking center stage.
So, get ready for some funny football jokes that wait for you just a smidgen further down. Once you are there, give the best jokes your vote, and be sure to share this article with your football-crazy friends!
#81
Why are Man City better than Everton?
They have twice as much Silva!
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#82
What did the bumble bee say after he scored a goal?
Hive scored!
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#83
What did NASA use when they built a football pitch on the moon?
AstroTurf!
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#84
Why can’t Cinderella play football?
Her football coach is a pumpkin!
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#85
Why don't fish play football?
They're scared of nets!
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#86
Why couldn't the car play football?
It only had one boot!
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#87
How did the football pitch get wet?
The players dribbled all over it!
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#88
I didn’t do very well in my football teamwork exam… I didn’t pass!
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#89
Mauricio Pochettino must have hurt his leg whilst at Tottenham Hotspur. He was always relying on a Kane.
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#90
My partner just ended our relationship because of my obsession with football. I’m quite sad about it – we’d been dating for three seasons.
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#91
My laptop has the Kepa Arrizabalaga virus – it can’t save anything!
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#92
Playing football is addictive and I want to stop but I just can't seem to kick the habit.
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#93
Why did Shakira marry a football player?
For his stamina mina, eh eh!
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#94
What should you do if Liverpool's midfield steals your car?
Call the Klopps.
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#95
Have you heard about the new Everton bra?
It has a lot of support but no cups.
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#96
Why can't football players wear glasses?
It's a contacts sport.
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#97
My team had to play a football game on a pitch that was littered with loads of stones and gravel. Luckily we still won on aggregate.
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#98
What's it called when a group of drunk footballers in a pub start chanting 'OY OY OY'?
An ***Oy-ing.***
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#99
What would an English football fan do if England won the World Cup?
Stop playing FIFA and go to bed.
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#100
My cousin is obsessed with football. So when I entered his room... When I entered his room and saw that it was covered in posters of a famous Argentinian player, I thought to myself... That’s a Messi room.
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