To make it clear right from the beginning, the football jokes in this list will talk about European football, also known as soccer, to those on the other side of the pond. The football where you kick the ball, rather than grapple for it, the football that most likely stems from 12th-century England, and the one that supplies some of the most famous athletes on our planet. Well, you get the gist - this is our article dedicated to football, a.k.a. soccer jokes, where we lovingly make fun of this ancient game, its fans, and the ball-kicking frenzy that comes with it.
Unlike any other sports jokes, these ones have a particular affinity for the fans. Seems like if it weren’t for them and their unabashed dedication to their teams, football would lose half of its charm. The rivalries between fans are as fierce as (if not fiercer than) those among the teams themselves, and that makes for a very fertile ground for undeniably hilarious jokes. In fact, any rivalry makes for amazing silly jokes, but when it comes to football, the feeling is just unmatched! Of course, these jokes about football will talk about the game itself, too, but you’ll see a definite pattern of devotees taking center stage.
So, get ready for some funny football jokes that wait for you just a smidgen further down. Once you are there, give the best jokes your vote, and be sure to share this article with your football-crazy friends!
#121
Who was the sheep's favorite footballer?
Paul PogBAAA!
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#122
Where do football players dance?
At a football!
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#123
How do hens encourage their football teams?
They egg them on!
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#124
Why did Ebenezer Scrooge end up with the football?
Because the ghost of Christmas passed!
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#125
Why do footballers struggle to eat sandwiches?
They think they can't use their hands!
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#126
Which famous female footballer is also a hip-hop star?
Megan Rap-inoe.
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#127
A wife says to her husband: "Choose, it's either me or football." The husband responds: "Give me 90 minutes to think."
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#128
Where do Jedi play football?
On the force field!
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#129
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship!
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#130
David Beckham’s son arrived for football training.
He asked the coach, “What number shirt am I?”
The coach said, “Wear four out there, Romeo.”
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#131
My 8-year-old son was in the garden playing football today, he tripped over his own feet and lay on the floor for 5 minutes, screaming and thrashing like he'd been beaten up. I'm so proud of him, he's going to be in the Premier League one day.
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#132
What made the football player bring string to the game?
So he could tie the score.
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#133
“The missus accused me of caring more about my fantasy football team than my own kids. In my defense, I had Smalling, Kompany, Shaw, and Baines.”
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#134
Three fans were talking about the sad state of their local club;
The first fan blamed...: "I blame the manager; if we could sign better players, we'd be a great club."
The second fan blamed...: "I blame the players; if they made more effort, I'm sure we would score more goals."
The third fan blamed...: "I blame my parents; if I had been born in a different town, I'd be supporting a decent team."
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#135
A man takes his seat at the World Cup Final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy.
The man: “Who would ever miss the World Cup final?”
The guy: “That was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.”
The man: “That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another member of the family, a friend, or someone else to come with you?”
The guy: “No…they are all at the funeral!”
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#136
A week before the Champions League final a few years ago there was an ad in a local newspaper that said: "Local man offers marriage to any woman that has tickets to the Champions League final. Those interested must send in photos of the tickets."
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