To make it clear right from the beginning, the football jokes in this list will talk about European football, also known as soccer, to those on the other side of the pond. The football where you kick the ball, rather than grapple for it, the football that most likely stems from 12th-century England, and the one that supplies some of the most famous athletes on our planet. Well, you get the gist - this is our article dedicated to football, a.k.a. soccer jokes, where we lovingly make fun of this ancient game, its fans, and the ball-kicking frenzy that comes with it.
Unlike any other sports jokes, these ones have a particular affinity for the fans. Seems like if it weren’t for them and their unabashed dedication to their teams, football would lose half of its charm. The rivalries between fans are as fierce as (if not fiercer than) those among the teams themselves, and that makes for a very fertile ground for undeniably hilarious jokes. In fact, any rivalry makes for amazing silly jokes, but when it comes to football, the feeling is just unmatched! Of course, these jokes about football will talk about the game itself, too, but you’ll see a definite pattern of devotees taking center stage.
So, get ready for some funny football jokes that wait for you just a smidgen further down. Once you are there, give the best jokes your vote, and be sure to share this article with your football-crazy friends!
#61
What is black and white and black and white and black and white?
A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!
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#62
England are playing Iceland tomorrow. If they win that game, they’ll play Tesco’s next Saturday and then Asda on Wednesday.
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#63
Where’s the best place in America to shop for a football kit?
New Jersey!
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#64
Why don’t grasshoppers watch football?
They prefer cricket!
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#65
My partner just split up with me because they think I’m obsessed with football. I’m a bit gutted about it – we’d been going out for three seasons.
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#66
What did the referee say to the South American footballer in the World Cup who lied about handling the ball?
I don’t Bolivia!
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#67
Why was the best footballer in the world asked to tidy up their room?
Because they were Messi!
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#68
What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
The scenter spot!
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#69
Why did the football quit team?
It was tired of being kicked around!
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#70
Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space?
Because there is no atmosphere!
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#71
Why are footballers like babies?
They both dribble!
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#72
Why did the footballer hold their boot to their ear?
Because they liked sole music!
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#73
What runs along the edge of the pitch but never moves?
The sideline!
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#74
Which team is the chewiest?
The Toffees!
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#75
What’s the best position to play if you don’t like football? Right back – right back in the changing rooms…
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#76
Why did the footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch?
They were the skipper!
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#77
Which footballer makes the best coffee?
Diego Costa!
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#78
Who was the horse's favorite footballer?
NEIGH-mar!
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#79
What blows at 100mph and always scores?
A Harrykane!
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#80
Who's the most dangerous footballer?
Eden Hazard!
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