O, Dwight, however much we love you! Thine quirks, thine wisdom, thine unmatched grit! Thou art probably the greatest TV series character ever that gives us, the socially ungraceful introverts, at least a smidgen of bravery in being as non-conforming as we like to be. Well, you might’ve gotten the gist by now - we cannot get enough of Dwight Kurt Schrute III, and he’s at the very top of our list of the most beloved fictional characters ever. And thus, we’ve created a whole list of Dwight Schrute quotes and now are sharing it with you!
Unlike the rest of The Office characters, Dwight is much more multi-layered. In fact, although he’s probably the weirdest person you’ve ever met on screen due to the complexity of his character, Dwight’s also probably the most real of them all. And just read some of his wise quotes! All of his phrases will make you laugh the hardest but will also carry a message about dignity, authenticity, bravery, and loyalty. You know, the things that make humans human. And did we mention that some of them are just hilariously funny quotes? We did? Well, no harm in repeating it, then.
Now, prepare yourself beetroot tartar to go with these wonderful quotes - a combo to die for! Once you’re done reading them, give the best ones your vote, and if you’d like a bit more, then read our The Office quotes article, too! Oh, and also, don’t forget to share these funny Dwight Schrute quotes with anyone who seems to be a bit down these days - it will surely improve their disposition!
#41

“You’re a perfectly fine toilet. I’m just an extraordinary piece of crap.”
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#42

"Pam is constantly throwing up because of the pregnancy. If she eats something the fetus doesn't like, she is screwed. It's amazing. A three ounce fetus is calling the shots. It's so badass!"
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#43

"You can all have jobs at Schrute Farms as human scarecrows. It doesn't pay much and you can't unionize."
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#44

"Blink once if you want me to pull the plug."
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#45

“And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff’s deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven’t."
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#46

"Congratulations on your one cousin. I have 70, each one better than the last."
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#47

"It’s better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose.”
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#48

"I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me."
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#49

“I never thought I’d say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow.”
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#50

“PowerPoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat.”
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#51
“Yes. I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. Which I’m looking forward to. It’s an Amish technique. It’s like slapping someone with silence.”
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#52
“To avoid illness, expose yourself to germs, enabling your immune system to develop antibodies. I don’t know why everyone doesn’t do this. Maybe they have something against living forever.”
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#53
“Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to shore, but what you don’t hear about is the many people they push farther out to sea! Dolphins aren’t smart. They just like pushing things.”
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#54
“Once I’m officially Regional Manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So, I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified.”
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#55
Jim: “My condolences.”
Dwight: “Keep them.”
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#56
"First rule in roadside beet sales, put the most attractive beets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go, 'Wow. I need this beet right now.' Those are the money beets."
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#57
“Your internet searches were so filthy we had to throw out your computer.”
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#58
"I’m a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer, they have very good vision. One thing about me, I’m better at hiding than they are at vision."
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#59
"Standing is proven to be healthier, increases productivity and just looks cooler. Picture someone doing something heroic. Now was he sitting or standing? Not counting FDR."
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#60
"The eyes are the groin of the head."
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