O, Dwight, however much we love you! Thine quirks, thine wisdom, thine unmatched grit! Thou art probably the greatest TV series character ever that gives us, the socially ungraceful introverts, at least a smidgen of bravery in being as non-conforming as we like to be. Well, you might’ve gotten the gist by now - we cannot get enough of Dwight Kurt Schrute III, and he’s at the very top of our list of the most beloved fictional characters ever. And thus, we’ve created a whole list of Dwight Schrute quotes and now are sharing it with you!
Unlike the rest of The Office characters, Dwight is much more multi-layered. In fact, although he’s probably the weirdest person you’ve ever met on screen due to the complexity of his character, Dwight’s also probably the most real of them all. And just read some of his wise quotes! All of his phrases will make you laugh the hardest but will also carry a message about dignity, authenticity, bravery, and loyalty. You know, the things that make humans human. And did we mention that some of them are just hilariously funny quotes? We did? Well, no harm in repeating it, then.
Now, prepare yourself beetroot tartar to go with these wonderful quotes - a combo to die for! Once you’re done reading them, give the best ones your vote, and if you’d like a bit more, then read our The Office quotes article, too! Oh, and also, don’t forget to share these funny Dwight Schrute quotes with anyone who seems to be a bit down these days - it will surely improve their disposition!
#21

"Today, smoking is going to save lives."
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#22

"As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick sometimes the right thing to do is to put it out of its misery. With the electricity we're using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what’s unethical."
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#23

"I did not kill anyone. Stanley was attacked by his own heart."
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#24

“Everyone, follow me to the shelter. We’ve got enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a difficult conversation.”
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#25

"Many ideas were not appreciated in their time, like shampoo."
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#26

"Yes, I have a wig for every single person in the office. You never know when you're gonna need to bear a passing resemblance to someone."
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#27

"Twelve hundred dollars is what I spent on my whole bomb shelter. For that kind of money, this stroller, should be indestructible."
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#28

"Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own circumcision."
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#29

"In the end, the greatest snowball isn’t a snowball at all. It’s fear. Merry Christmas."
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#30

“Michael always says, ‘K-I-S-S: keep it simple, stupid.’ Great advice. Hurts my feelings every time.”
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#31

"A gym turns fat into cash."
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#32

"Did I want to harm Michael? The one man I've been hired to protect? No, I did not."
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#33

"You couldn’t handle my undivided attention."
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#34

"I wonder if king-sized sheets are called presidential-sized in England."
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#35

"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!"
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#36

"I love catching people in the act. That’s why I always whip open doors."
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#37

“How would I describe myself? Three words: hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable.”
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#38

“It’s never the person who you most suspect. It’s also never the person you least suspect, since anyone with half a brain would suspect them the most. Therefore, I know the killer to be Phyllis. The person who I most medium suspect.”
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#39

"You know, I really would’ve appreciated a heads up that you were into dating mothers. I would’ve introduced you to mine."
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#40

“Can’t a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they’ll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore? Jeez. When did everyone get so cynical?”
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