Who could ever find a trip to the doctor’s a pleasurable one? Starting with that eerie silence in the hallways, some moans and groans behind closed doors and that trailing smell of formaldehyde, everything about a visit to the doctor is at least a tiny bit unsettling. And there aren’t any games in the waiting room anymore, and they don’t even give you a lolly for holding in your tears during an exam! And surely, even if you are waiting for something almost pleasant - like having your ears cleaned - you still feel a bit nervous and grab your phone for a distraction. And, if regular scrolling just doesn’t cut it anymore, we have prepared something much better - a list of only the best doctor jokes! Now, you can stop wiggling your leg nervously while waiting in a line for a checkup and spend that energy giggling instead!
So, what should you expect from these silly jokes? Well, besides some noteworthy comedic relief, these doctor jokes might make even a toothache sound funny and even the worst news sound like a blessing. Of course, you should also expect to read a couple of cool puns because medical stuff is just asking for wordplay! And, as almost always, you will definitely find some adorable jokes, too, because even a doctor deserves an occasional ‘aww’ in his own right.
Okay, are you ready to read our selection of the best doctor jokes? If so, then scroll down below and do so! Of course, do not forget to give the medical jokes that tickled your fancy a vote and share this article with your friends!
#101
Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned!
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#102
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
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#103
My kid’s pediatrician canceled my appointment because I was five minutes late.
He has very little patients.
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#104
What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician?
General Ken OB.
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#105
Patient: “Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain.”
Doctor: “Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking.”
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#106
Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”
Doc: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”
Patient: “Right around the entrance.”
Doc: “As long as you call it an entrance, it will hurt.”
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#107
"Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine?"
"He made a spectacle of himself."
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#108
Woman: “My husband swallowed an Aspirin by mistake. What should I do now?”
Doctor: “Give him a headache now; what else!”
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#109
Doctor: “I’m just waiting for your x-ray.”
Woman: “But I’ve never dated anyone named Ray.”
Doctor: “Aaaaand we might do a brain scan.”
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#110
What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?
♪ Shady’s back ♪
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#111
Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave?
The hip replacement guy.
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#112
"Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a bell?"
"Go home and take these and if you're not better soon, give me a ring."
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#113
"Doctor doctor! I think I'm a shepherd."
"I wouldn't lose any sheep over it."
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#114
"Doctor doctor! I think I'm at death's door?"
"Don't worry, we'll soon pull you through"
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#115
"Doctor, doctor! Do you have something for a headache?"
"Yes, try this hammer."
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#116
Doctor: “You have high blood pressure and amnesia.”
Patient: “Well, at least I don’t have high blood pressure!”
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#117
"Doctor doctor, my spouse is so ill, is there no hope?"
"It depends what you are hoping for."
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#118
“Doctor doctor, I couldn't drink my medicine after my bath like you told me.”
“Why not?”
“Well after I've drunk my bath I haven't got room for the medicine.”
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#119
"Doctor, doctor I feel like a sheep."
"Oh that's very baaaaaaaad!"
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#120
"Doctor, doctor... I've just swallowed a roll of film!
Come back tomorrow and we'll see what develops!"
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