Who could ever find a trip to the doctor’s a pleasurable one? Starting with that eerie silence in the hallways, some moans and groans behind closed doors and that trailing smell of formaldehyde, everything about a visit to the doctor is at least a tiny bit unsettling. And there aren’t any games in the waiting room anymore, and they don’t even give you a lolly for holding in your tears during an exam! And surely, even if you are waiting for something almost pleasant - like having your ears cleaned - you still feel a bit nervous and grab your phone for a distraction. And, if regular scrolling just doesn’t cut it anymore, we have prepared something much better - a list of only the best doctor jokes! Now, you can stop wiggling your leg nervously while waiting in a line for a checkup and spend that energy giggling instead!
So, what should you expect from these silly jokes? Well, besides some noteworthy comedic relief, these doctor jokes might make even a toothache sound funny and even the worst news sound like a blessing. Of course, you should also expect to read a couple of cool puns because medical stuff is just asking for wordplay! And, as almost always, you will definitely find some adorable jokes, too, because even a doctor deserves an occasional ‘aww’ in his own right.
Okay, are you ready to read our selection of the best doctor jokes? If so, then scroll down below and do so! Of course, do not forget to give the medical jokes that tickled your fancy a vote and share this article with your friends!
#41
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn’t been feeling well and wants to find out if he is ill. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.
“I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time,” the doctor says.
“Oh no, that’s terrible. How long have I got?” the man asks.
“10…” says the doctor.
“10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!” he asks desperately.
“10…9…8…7…”
unknown
Report10points
#42
A woman says to the dentist "I don't know which is worse having a tooth pulled or having a baby."
The dentist says "Well make up your mind I gotta adjust the chair!"
unknown
Report10points
#43
Dr.'s are saying not to worry about the bird flu because it's tweetable.
unknown
Report10points
#44
What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
“Get dressed up — the doctor is taking us out!”
unknown
Report9points
#45
Patient: “I always see spots before my eyes.”
Doctor: “Didn’t the new glasses help?”
Patient: “Sure, now I see the spots much clearer.”
unknown
Report9points
#46
Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
Only if you aim it well enough.
unknown
Report9points
#47
How many doctors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
unknown
Report9points
#48
Secretary: “Doctor, there’s a patient on line one who says he’s invisible.”
Doctor: “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
unknown
Report9points
#49
Patient: “Doctor, tell me how I can repay you for your kindness.”
Doctor: “You can pay by cash, check, or money order.”
unknown
Report9points
#50
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, “Give me the fingers and I’ll see what I can do.” “But, I don’t have the fingers!” “Why didn’t you bring the fingers?!” asks the incredulous doctor. “Doc, I couldn’t pick them up.”
unknown
Report9points
#51
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m turning into curtains.”
Doctor: “Pull yourself together!”
unknown
Report9points
#52
Why did the calendar have to visit the doctor?
It had a terrible year-ache.
unknown
Report9points
#53
Patient: “Doctor, you told me I have a month to live and then you sent me a bill for $1,000. I can’t pay that before the end of the month!”
Doctor: “OK, then you have six months to live.”
unknown
Report9points
#54
I can’t believe I wanted to be an obstetrician.
I can’t even deliver a joke.
unknown
Report9points
#55
“Doctor, doctor, you’ve got to help me — I just can’t stop my hands from shaking!”
“Do you drink a lot?”
“Not really — I spill most of it!”
unknown
Report9points
#56
A man goes to the doctors and says, “Doctor, I think I’m going deaf!”
And the doctor says, “Can you describe the symptoms?”
The man responds, “Yes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair.”
unknown
Report9points
#57
Doctor: “You’re as healthy as a horse!”
Jimmy: “That’s great.”
Doctor: “A horse with kidney stones.”
unknown
Report9points
#58
Me: “Aren’t you going to treat me?”
Doctor: “I am treating you.”
Me: “You’re just staring at me.”
Doc: “It’s called silent treatment.”
unknown
Report9points
#59
Why did the doctor laugh at the x-ray of an arm?
Because he found the x-ray humerus.
unknown
Report9points
#60
"Doctor, doctor I think I need glasses."
"You certainly do missy, this is the fish and chip shop!"
unknown
Report9points


