Who could ever find a trip to the doctor’s a pleasurable one? Starting with that eerie silence in the hallways, some moans and groans behind closed doors and that trailing smell of formaldehyde, everything about a visit to the doctor is at least a tiny bit unsettling. And there aren’t any games in the waiting room anymore, and they don’t even give you a lolly for holding in your tears during an exam! And surely, even if you are waiting for something almost pleasant - like having your ears cleaned - you still feel a bit nervous and grab your phone for a distraction. And, if regular scrolling just doesn’t cut it anymore, we have prepared something much better - a list of only the best doctor jokes! Now, you can stop wiggling your leg nervously while waiting in a line for a checkup and spend that energy giggling instead!
So, what should you expect from these silly jokes? Well, besides some noteworthy comedic relief, these doctor jokes might make even a toothache sound funny and even the worst news sound like a blessing. Of course, you should also expect to read a couple of cool puns because medical stuff is just asking for wordplay! And, as almost always, you will definitely find some adorable jokes, too, because even a doctor deserves an occasional ‘aww’ in his own right.
Okay, are you ready to read our selection of the best doctor jokes? If so, then scroll down below and do so! Of course, do not forget to give the medical jokes that tickled your fancy a vote and share this article with your friends!
#21
Why did Dracula go to the doctor?
He couldn’t stop coffin!
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#22
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
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#23
When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor".
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#24
What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
A URL-ologist.
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#25
My dermatologist was fired today.
I’m told he made too many rash decisions.
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#26
What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money?
“Are you seeing any change in me?”
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#27
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
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#28
What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
“Time to get your booster shot!”
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#29
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I’m going to die in 59 seconds!”
Doctor: “Hang on, I’ll be there in a minute.”
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#30
Patient: “Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?”
Doctor: “Use a pencil until I come to see him.”
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#31
Why didn’t Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough?
A cold never bothered her, anyway.
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#32
Patient: “Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Please give me your bill.”
Doctor: “Be calm. You are not strong enough for this yet.”
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#33
I told the doctor I didn’t want brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
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#34
Doctors ask you where it hurts, but then put pressure on it.
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#35
Did you hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand-up comedian?
Apparently, it’s all about the delivery for some people.
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#36
"Doctor doctor, what happened to that man who fell into the circular saw and had the whole left side of his body cut away?"
"He's all right now."
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#37
"Doctor doctor, What can I do? Everyone thinks I'm a liar?"
"I find that very hard to believe!"
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#38
A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.”
“Oh no, honey. What happened?”
“Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.”
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#39
What is a double-blind study?
Two orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram.
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#40
I played hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU.
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