What is dead shall never die, and since a written word was never alive, then that means it has the potential to live forever. And you know what kind of written word might just have the best aging potential? Yes, you are absolutely right, for it is puns! But what if those clever puns are about death? For sure, it’s a double whammy of eternal living! So, here we are with our list that has no expiration date, being full of only the best death puns.
Surely, death puns, as a topic, might sound quite grim, but trust us that fun always has a way to sneak right in, even in inherently morbid topics. After all, we are all going to die, so why not meet the scythe with a smile and greet it with a silly pun. That might just up your life expectancy; who knows.
But, that’s probably enough to ponder, so let’s just go and wonder at our collection of the best dark puns that we’ve sourced from all over the internet. And you won’t need to scroll down six feet under to find them, for they are just about six pixels down. The commodity! Once you are there, do not forget to vote for the best death jokes, and, uhm, share this article with your friends?
#81 Wait, there’s actually a thing called that?
She discovered the young widow has mourning sickness.
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#82 Call Me Morbid, But Also Lucky
The cheap casket was a dead giveaway that I won it at a raffle.
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#83 Plot twist: he wasn’t even sick
When I was at the funeral home, I saw a man coughin'.
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#84 Wait, Who’s Hesra Maines?
I just read the obituary for Hesra Maines.
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#85 When Saying Goodbye Breaks the Bank
Funeral prices have skyrocketed due to the cost of living.
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#86 Well, That Took a Sharp Turn
The funeral hairstylist had a real brush with death.
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#87 Can I Get a Refund on Life?
I have grave reservations about buying a funeral plot.
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#88 Plot twist: Robin’s final rest
When I walked through the cemetery, I came upon a grave robin.
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#89 Plot twist or just dead serious?
Sherlock Holmes solved the case of the missing corpse using dead-uction.
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#90 This Accountant’s a Total Write-Off Whisperer
The funeral home’s tax accountant is great a finding tax dead-uctions.
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#91 Zombie vibes but make it fashion
It’s partially dead and partially undead. I loved the die-chotomy.
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#92 Lowkey Respect Goes a Long Way
It is a serious mistake to speak badly of the people who have died.
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#93 Dead Gorgeous, No Filter Needed
A mortician’s job will be to make you feel as though you are dead gorgeous.
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#94 Well, that took a dark turn
While walking into the funeral house the ghoul asked whether your corpse is tender.
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#95 When owls show up, mice start updating their resumes
Some animals consider owls to be symbols of death? Especially mice!
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#96 Power Outage Perks?
Dead batteries - free of charge.
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#97 Dead serious about good service
What did the ghoul say when he walked into the funeral home? Is your corpse tender here?
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#98 Don’t Lose Your Head Over It
If you rush a decapitation, you’ll get a head of yourself.
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#99 That’s a twist I didn’t see coming
Is Dr. Jack Kevorkian really a dieabetic?
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#100 Living Fast, Dying Inevitable
If you live each day as though it were your last, then one fated day it will be.
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