The all-American, the ever-masculine, and forever brooding cowboy epitomize the Wild West and days of America’s glorious past. And why wouldn’t it be, and who wouldn’t want to try their hand at herding cattle through vastly glorious Great Plains or driving them down for winter from the peaks of the Rockies?
Of course, every well-sung hero is no real protagonist without a funny side to them, and the iconic cowboy is no exception. That said, we’re not here to give you a list of cowboy songs about love lost and starry skies - they won’t just cut enough cake in the funny department. Instead, what we did here is we rounded up a list of the very best cowboy jokes to turn the myth into a person! We’ve lassoed real gems of cowboy humor and hobbled them here, and if there’s one thing we can guarantee is that these funny cowboy skits will have you snorting like a Quarter horse after a good cattle run.
As you can see, we’re not so hot to trot in making up cowboy puns ourselves, so to make it up to you, we’ve also included some pretty darn excellent ones on this list. All you need to do now is to saddle up, take a ride down west, and check out our selection of cowboy jokes!
#141 Plot twist: not your average drumline
Two cowboys are on the edge of a cliff when they hear the sound of wardrums. One cowboy looks at the other and says, “I don’t like the sound of those war drums.” From below, they hear somebody shout, “He’s not our regular drummer!”
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#142 Math Was Never This Thirsty
A cowboy and a Roman soldier walked to a bar, and the bartender is deaf. The cowboy wanted 4 beers, so he showed 4 fingers and the roman soldier wanted 4 beers so he showed 3 fingers.
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#143 That plot twist hit different
One day the Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding in a canyon, and suddenly they are completely surrounded and cut off by angry natives.
The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto and says, “Well, this looks like the end for us, old friend.”
Tonto replies, “What you mean by ‘us,’ paleface?”
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#144 Plot twist: not a psychic, just a sore dude
A cowboy is riding along a trail in the old west and sees an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.
As he gets closer he hears the Indian saying to himself “Wagon…two gray horses… two passengers, man and woman…man driving.”
The cowboy goes “Wow! you can tell all that by just putting your ear to the ground?”
The Indian replies “No. Wagon pass half hour ago, run me over.”
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#145 Plot twist called shotgun
A cowboy walks in a saloon and sees a woman talking to 4 guys. He pulls out his gun, shoots the men then walks up to her "What's a pretty lady like you doing in a place like this all by herself?"
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#146 Neigh, That’s a Mood
When does a cowboy's horse talk?
Whinny wants to!
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#147 Cow-abunga, the magic’s real
When is a cattle rancher a magician?
When he turns the cows into the pasture.
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#148 Cowboys, but Make It Competitive
Which sport entails rounding up and stealing cattle as a form of dramatic entertainment?
Professional rustling.
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#149 Cowboy Logic: Herding Humor
How did the cowboy know his cattle were following him without turning around?
He herd them!
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#150 Lowkey Best Pun Ever
Why did the cowboy want to buy a dachshund?
To git along little doggie.
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#151 Pharaoh Meets Rodeo Vibes
What will you get if you ever cross a cowboy with an Egyptian Pharaoh?
You will get Darn Tutankhamun!
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#152 Plot twist: it’s all about the geese
Why are cowboys incapable of getting down from their horses?
Because they can only get down from a goose!
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#153 Lowkey Deep Cow Wisdom
What kind of philosophy lessons do all the cowboys teach their cows?
They teach that when one attacks them, they will have to either move their udder cheeks or they'll get a moooo-ve on!
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#154 Parenting advice we didn’t see coming
What lesson did the cowboy teach all of his children?
Never squat with your spurs on.
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#155 Didn’t See That Coming
Which side of a cowboy has scruffy hair?
The outside.
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#156 Saddle Up or Shut Up
Come on now, ride your cowboy.
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#157 Dream home, but make it trailer park chic
"Hey baby I’ve got a living quarters trailer with a big bed in the front."
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#158 Guess the Mouse Was the Main Course
He takes a seat at the counter and notices an old cowboy next to him with his arms crossed staring blankly at a full bowl of meaty chili. A few minutes go by and the young cowboy gets the courage to speak up "Sir, if you ain't gonna eat that would you mind if I did?" "It's all yours friend." Says the older cowboy. The young man slides the bowl to himself and starts spooning the delicious chili into his mouth. He gets near the bottom of the bowl and notices that there is a dead mouse in the chili. He immediate throws up all the chili back into the bowl and looks over at the old cowboy next to him who says "Yeah that's about as far as I got too. "
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#159 When you find out the real no-drink club
A Baptist preacher sits next to a cowboy on a flight. After the plane takes off, the cowboy asks for a whiskey and soda, which is promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asks the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replies, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips." The cowboy then hands his drink back to the attendant and says, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."
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#160 This One’s Genuinely Wild
Do you know why cowgirls are bowlegged?
Because cowboys eat with their hats on.
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