73 House Rules Couples Invented As Jokes That Became Important Traditions

When my husband and i get food i always put his straw in his drink first i never thought he noticed until one day i didn’t do it and he was like 😳 are you upset with me 🤣.

The person who throws out the empty toothpaste tube and starts a new one loses. We will squeeze the living soul outta the old tube until there isn't a molecule of toothpaste left before conceding. Winning is a function of hand strength and a willingness to brush your teeth with less than adequate toothpaste.

I don't even remember how this started but we've been doing this for decades.

ETA: thank you for the award!

Six words declared by my partner, which have now become my own go-to rationalization for any compulsion of mine that I can't support with valid reasons...

"Salad tastes better in a bowl.".

"Sprinkles are for winners"

You have to legit win something or have a real accomplishment in order to deserve sprinkles. Cookies, donuts, ice cream. No victory, no sprinkles. Neither of us compete in a sport or really have many opportunities to be "winners" and it's been a year and a half since I had sprinkles (I won employee of the year at my old company).

Not a rule really, but my husband (now my ex) and I appropriated a plastic but very realistic snake my son got one year as a gift. We would hide the snake somewhere we thought the other would find it. The startled scream, the self satisfied giggle, and the knowledge that it was the other one’s turn to get a jump scare kept us going for 12 years at least.

Funnier still was forgetting where you hid the snake and scaring yourself!

Popsicles are only to be eaten together. They come in a box with even numbers so if one person eats one then there is only odd numbers left. If you really want a Popsicle then the other must also eat a Popsicle. And when you get a Popsicle, you must also get one for the other.

Every time I peel an egg for my partner, I am required to hand it over like a goblin. If I forget, I am asked to re-gift the egg in goblin mode.

We say, "Cheers, I love you" before eating or drinking anything other than water. Not sure how or when it started, but over the course of six years we've probably said I love you to each other more than couples that have been together for much longer. If we're eating out, we'll cheers over the starter and again over the main course. Pretty ridiculous for a couple in their 30s but we'll never stop.

I know this makes us all sound like alcoholics and I promise we're not, it's mostly a silly thing we abide by when I spend the weekend. My BFF has a house rule that you're not allowed to start drinking before noon unless you've showered, with two exceptions :

1. You can drink before noon if it's finishing a drink (usually a glass of wine) that you abandoned from the night before.

2. Drinking before noon is allowed if we're on the crabbing boat (almost required, really).

If someone says/screams/whines/shouts/*or in any way at all communicates* the word **BUCKET** you have to immediately drop whatever you’re doing, grab Mr. Bucket (a 3 gallon black plastic bucket with its name written on it on a piece of painters tape) and ***run*** to that person.


“BUCKET!” means you’re about to spew your guts and since cleaning a bucket is immeasurably easier than carpet you immediately become the household priority.


Started as a joke one day when I was feeling mildly like garbage, became real when I had to run to the bathroom trailing vomit. Every house should have a Mr. Bucket.

Before bed, we sit on a very large chair together.

when either person says they are ready for bed - then we wrestle each other to be the first one up.

once you win, you must insist on helping the other person up - and do so!
to note - they should feel like you're helping an old and frail grandparent up.

In my relationship we joke around and tease eachother a lot. We now use the "pinky swear" as a sacred "I'm telling the truth and I promise" that can't be broken.

Family rule: if we're all watching something really engaging and someone needs to open a bag of, for example, chips, candy, takeout -- basically anything that crinkles, you must say "container noise" and pause the show while you quickly complete your task.

It started out as a joke but became a low key rule.
Also? It's still funny.

Due to an extreme difference in opinion, any mention of Taylor Swift has been banned from our household.

The first is the wait to be called on rule. If one wants to interrupt the other that is in the middle of something you raise your hand and wait to be called on.

The other is the Gordon Ramsey give you food rule. You must present any ready to eat food that you give to the other by saying 'Chef I have for you' with a description of the dish.

We don't order the same dish at restaurants, that way we get to try each other's food. We always confer before ordering, but I also have an idea of what he'll order because it's always steak, burgers, club sandwiches, tacos, or a Nashville hot chicken sandwich. I generally avoid all of those because I know he'll order them and I'll get to have a bite or two anyway.

11:11 is kiss time. If one of us sees it on the clock they are required to go find the other and lay a quick makeout sesh on them. If we're not together we text each other 💋💋💋 instead!

No arguing in the hot tub.

This single rule may be our secret to a good marriage. The time to reconnect without argument (even if we’re mad at each other) is priceless.

Milkshake conversations. All difficult conversations must be had over a milkshake.

If I wake up and am out of bed first, I make the coffee and he makes the bed (including all throw pillows). If he gets up first, vice-versa.