73 House Rules Couples Invented As Jokes That Became Important Traditions

If there are folded potato chips, I get them. ALWAYS.

We don't joke about being in a time loop. Then, if one of us is ever in a time loop, the other one will take them seriously with minimal convincing, which I imagine is one of the most frustrating things about time loops.

Before bed every night, we play rock, paper, scissors to determine who has to take the dog out for his last pee. Them’s the rules.

We make out in elevators, no matter the mood or how we are feeling or even if it’s two floors as long as we are alone we have to make out in the elevator.

Bag fries must be shared, as everyone knows they are the tastiest ones. 


Every win must be celebrated in some way. Got a big project at work done? Let's get sushi. 

Cheese knife


We have a knife that we keep on the right side of the top of the microwave. It is the cheese knife. You may only cut hard cheese with it. You may use it for up to a few days at a time if you wipe it down with a napkin (if too much stuff sticks after wiping it down, then it gets washed).


we realized if we didn't have cheese knife dedication, all of the knives in our house got used way too fast because we literally each individually eat cheese multiple times a day.

Had an old roommate leave and left trash and when we asked her about it she said it's a gift. Now if we hand trash to each other we say as seriously as possible "it's a gift!" And laugh. If one of us forgets the other says it in a fake anger voice.

We don’t speak French at home. None of us are French and we don’t speak the language. However if anyone says a French word we simply say “no French in this house”.

Person who opens the dishwasher and its clean need to pack everything away. Not the silliest, but we treat it both silly and serious.

We have a set of coffee mugs in six different solid colors. The day's outfit should match the coffee mug. I always rise first, meaning I pick mugs for each of us almost every day. If I hand him the yellow mug, because he doesn't own yellow clothing items, he always tries to surreptitiously trade for my mug. I have a bright rainbow of clothing in my closet and can easily match any mug on any day, which is my flex. lol.

I don't turn off bedroom light at night, that is my husbands job. Started when he jumped into bed and expected me to get out of bed and walk around room to turn it off. I told him that would be my last time turning it off. Its been over 3 years and I won't touch it even if walking by.

We have a rule that you have to take a bite of everything and the first bite can't have anything added to it.

If my husband tells me something is spicy after I watch him put hot sauce on something, im sure I would lose it.

One-in/one-out for coffee mugs and water bottles. Although, I think he was always serious about it.