73 House Rules Couples Invented As Jokes That Became Important Traditions

My dad once finally got my mom her own stocking for Christmas, as she usually did all that sort of thing.

In his rush and hatred of shopping, he accidentally bought her a stocking intended for a dog- complete with felt dog bones sewn all over it and a “Dear Santa, define ‘good’” quote.

She is no longer allowed to have any other stocking for Christmas because we love it so much.

Edit: We have never had a dog.

When one sneezes, the other has to say "Praise Sneezus".

We call it "The Accords."

Basically, mutual agreement not to criticize or speak negatively about the other's hobbies, crafting, crafting supplies and the space, quantity, organization and cost of said hobbies.

If one of us starts encroaching upon "The Accords" the other is required to use their best pirate accent and remind them of the status of "The Accords." No, they aren't 'guidelines' someone has already tried that tactic.

If there’s sports on, I get a back rub. Husband is a crazy sports fan and I am not. He doesn’t even question it, when the sports are on, his hands get to rubbin. We both win.

I mean, you know that silly game you play with your siblings that when you see a yellow car, you call it out and get to slap your sibling? 


Well me and my wife call out all the yellow cars and kiss that many times in the end of the trip.


Special rule, if we see a yellow vehicle transporting truck full of yellow cars we have to pull to the next stop and do it. That has not happened yet, but a man can dream. 


"Okay kids, out of the car! We got some business to attend to!" .

No more than 2 episodes of each show per day so we don't burn through them. The last 2 episodes per season must always be watched back to back, no cliffhangers.

We don't talk smack about our cars where they can "hear" us.

Not a “rule” necessarily, but years ago my wife and I started the “Penny Game” - anytime one of us finds a spare penny around the home, we’d hide it for the other person to find. Always somewhere we’d likely see it within a few days - underneath a product we use regularly, in my wallet, etc.

We had some good laughs trading it back and forth in the beginning, finding creative ways to hide the penny. Eventually the hiding spots got tougher, and pennies were being introduced to the game faster than we could find them. But we persisted.

Flash forward to today, and I don’t know where my keys are half the time, but I know for certain where each of the eight pennies I’ve hidden are. There are few joys in life as wonderful as randomly hearing a penny hit the floor and bounce around while we both laugh aloud from different rooms.

Every time we make the bed, my wife is on her side and I'm on mine. We grab the top sheet and lift it high above our heads to allow it to straighten and unfurl, and we then lean over under the sheet like it's a parachute and have to kiss each other before it deflates and touches our heads.

Been doing this for 25 years and every time, even when in a bad mood, we glance at each other and smile sheepishly and just do it for the tradition.

Not so much a rule, but "Dave" gets the blame for everything in our house. Shoes left out? Dave forgot. Dirty dishes in the sink? Dave left them there. My pop can left on the counter? Dammit Dave, he is so forgetful.

Dave doesn't exist. We fully well know who messed up. But instead of mini fights starting, we get annoyed with Dave. Silly and stupid, but surprisingly effective.

If you pull a tuft of hair off the dogs you must offer it to the other as a gift.

This started when our husky was shedding out his winter coat and I was pulling all the stuff sticking out of his fur and was so impressed with the ball of fur i went up to him and said “a gift for you” and now it’s a rule lol.

Also, if you want to swap chores you just buy the other person food. I hate putting laundry away, but I’ll do it for a burger.

After watching Phantom Thread we quite often joked about "there is entirely too much talking at breakfast" and we've calmly mutated it into "don't come at me with words until after I've got coffee made". I utter it more than she because she's a morning person and is usually up earlier than I and already has thoughts...

I personally don't think it's dumb, but if you get up to get yourself a drink or snack from the kitchen, ask the other person if they want something. It's thoughtful and then everyone is hydrated/has a nice snack. Best rule!

Edit: We do have a dumb rule, but it's more my husband's rule: if we bring in snacks, I get two weeks to eat my share and then it's fair game. He grew up with a horde of siblings and the snack pantry was basically first come, first served. I only had a younger sister and will save goodies until they're expired if the craving for it doesn't hit. If I truly want a treat to stay mine for an extended period, I keep it in my desk instead.

Like most people, we used to have a “junk drawer” in our kitchen that had random assortment of different things (tools, rubber bands, writing utensils, etc.). Over time, we realized how often we needed something from the junk drawer and felt like the name was disparaging, so since then it has been referred to as the “useful things drawer.”.

We live in Wales, where there is a Welsh version of Valentines Day called St Dwynwen's Day (Dydd Sant Dwynwen) on 25th Jan.

It's not particularly high profile, so basically every year we try to surprise the other one by not mentioning it and hoping the other one has forgotten and looks foolish.

I want to be clear: the purpose is not to celebrate our love or Welsh culture, it is very much to make each other look bad.

So far she has forgotten once, making it 1-0 to me.

I've got my card sorted for this year, haven't heard a peep from her about it. Here's hoping I can go 2-0 up.

If we’re in the living room watching TV, whoever wants to go upstairs to bed has to give a 10 minute or last episode warning to the other and then we go to bed together.

If you need a "rest day" then you take a rest day. Stay in bed, binge a show, sleep, order in, ask for help, and finally ask if you need to be alone or you need to not be alone.

The first sentence was the initial rule. The rest is what it has become over 15 years and has improved our marriage.

We do NOT talk about badly about ANY of the kitchen/home appliances acting up or not working or needing replacement when they are within earshot! only outside the home will we discuss replacements or complain about poor function. they have heard us in the past, and there were consequences...

My wife gets the first chip from every bag. Even if they're chips she doesn't like, she still has to eat it.

If you take the garbage out of the bin you are REQUIRED to replace it with an empty bag immediately. Too many absent minded tossing of grease/whatever in a bin with no bag.