Statistics say that around 30 to 40% of the world’s population drink coffee. That’s actually a lot of people. In some countries, these numbers go even higher. It’s safe to assume that coffee is an important part of human life. So of course, we make jokes about it.
With the variety of beans, brewing methods, and coffee-based drinks, making coffee puns is easier than ordering a cup at your favorite coffee shop. For example, I am sure you have heard the depresso joke. It’s a very funny roast (see what I did there?) on people who are grumpy and irritable even after they’ve had their morning coffee.
If you think that coffee humor is only for those who actually drink it, you should just look up some jokes about coffee. Trust me, they will make you chuckle under your breath or even laugh out loud even if you have never as much as tried this fantastic liquid (by the way, if that’s your case, how do you survive?)
Whether you prefer your coffee black, white, with or without sugar, hot or iced, it will always go well with a nice fresh coffee joke. In this article we’ve collected a lot of funny coffee jokes to brighten up your morning. How many cups do you drink per day? Tell us in the comments, and don’t forget to share your favorite ways of having coffee.
#61
What did the coffee lover name her son?
Joe, obviously.
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#62
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
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#63
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his victims—all ground up.
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#64
"I drink so much coffee at work, I consider it part of my daily grind."
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#65
I’m about to have a dangerous cup of coffee… Safe tea first, though.
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#66
What do you call the first level of a coffee factory?
The ground floor.
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#67
What’s a barista’s favorite morning mantra?
Rise and grind!
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#68
What happens if you touch Dad’s coffee?
You’ll be grounded!
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#69
What should a father say to his daughter every day?
"You’re brewtiful."
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#70
What did the excited cup of coffee say to the coffee drinker?
Pour some sugar on me, baby!
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#71
Why can’t you hang around coffee shops at night?
You’ll get mugged.
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#72
How do you get enough coffee for a cup?
By any beans necessary!
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#73
"I like my men like I like my coffee… Nowhere near my pants."
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#74
"I like my women like I like my coffee… I’ve never had coffee but it smells really nice."
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#75
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers?
You mocha me crazy!
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#76
Why did the coffee shop close for the day?
Because a storm was brewing.
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#77
You have 16 sugar cubes and three mugs of coffee. How do you put an odd number of sugar cubes in each one, making sure to use all 16 sugar cubes? You put one cube in the first mug, one cube in the second mug, and 14 cubes in the third mug because 14 is an odd number of sugar cubes to put in a coffee.
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#78
Soup of the day: Coffee.
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#79
What’s the technical name for a pot of coffee at work?
Break fluid.
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#80
What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before?
Déjà brew.
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