It’s a sunny morning, and you arrive at work with a smile on your face. You have a good job, great colleagues, and the company culture is pretty fine. But then you get to your desk, start getting through your e-mails, and your face twists. You realize that your boss has left you to take care of another one or two of those long, annoying, and trivial tasks that would be insignificant even for an intern on their first day. If only they would let up for a minute! But instead of doing that, they keep piling on the pressure until you eventually break down. There is nothing worse than being stuck working for someone that you can’t stand. And if that someone is impossible to please and unreasonable, then it can make life at work very difficult despite all the other good things.
But don’t despair yet! We have collected some of the best boss jokes that are sure to help lighten the mood around the office. These jokes about the boss are sure to lift everyone’s spirit and make you burst out laughing! And if, instead of a horrible boss, you actually have a great director who knows how to take a joke, why don’t you share these ones with them too?
(Disclaimer - We don’t take responsibility if you get fired.)
#81 Spreadsheet game: gold medalist energy
My boss asked me how good I am at making spreadsheets. I told him "I Excel at it."
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#82 Rock solid excuse, honestly

"What did the geologist say to his boss?"
"I don’t know."
"Please don’t take me for granite."
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#83 Plot twist: Security or binge-watching champ?
As a security guard, my Boss said my job is to watch the office. I’m on season 6 so far, and not sure what this has to do with security.
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#84 Leapfrogging for the paycheck
My boss said he'd give me a bonus if I did an impression of a frog. I jumped at the opportunity.
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#85 Well played, boss.

My boss said I was going to see a big increase on my Payslip this month... He increased the font size.
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#86 Bold move, now we’re talking
My boss was giving a presentation and no one was asking questions.
So my boss says: “The person who asks the first question will get a raise, the second will get a promotion, and the third will get a million dollar.”
So I raised my hand and said “I have three questions.”
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#87 Well, this escalated faster than expected
I caught two teenagers smoking pot outside my office window. Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two teenagers smoking pot outside my office window.
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#88 Put Your Foot Down, Literally

I don't mind following rules at work, but when my boss told me to stop impersonating flamingos... I had to put my foot down.
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#89 Mission accomplished, I guess
I gave my boss some maracas for Christmas. He kept talking about how he wants to shake things up.
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#90 Facial Hair? Not in This Office
My boss doesn’t tolerate any beards or mustaches. He’s a real shave driver.
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#91 Guess Who’s the Walking Wall Now?

The decorator got wallpaper on himself instead of the wall. His boss tore a strip off him.
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#92 Talk About All the Right Angles
What did the computer programmer talk to his boss about?
Arrays.
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#93 Boss level: Expert, Employee level: Struggle
What’s the definition of a power struggle?
Your boss has the power, and you have the struggle.
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#94 Friday 4 PM: The Silent Agreement Hour

The boss always scheduled a management meeting at 4:00 pm on Friday afternoons. When an employee asked him why, he replied, “I’ve found that late Friday afternoon is the only time when no one wants to argue with me.”
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#95 Retirement Plans, Not Marathons
I was told by my boss that I have to set up the company’s 401k. However, I do not think I can run that far.
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#96 When Work Meetings Turn Stand-Up Comedy
My boss sent me an email:
Boss: “Send me a joke!”
Me: “I’m working right now!”
Boss: “That was great! Send me another one!”
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#97 Plot Twist: Swimming to Work Now?

John : "Hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming."
Boss: "You stated in your job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am."
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#98 When You Go Full McOverboard
Me: "Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your McOrder?"
McDonalds Boss: "Again *rubs temples* you don't need to put Mc in front of words."
Me: "Oh ok *turns back to customer* welcome to Donalds."
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#99 Well, This Is Awkward
[My funeral]
Boss: "*solemnly placing his hand on my casket and sobbing* How could you do this to me we are so understaffed today."
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#100 Dead serious about deadlines

My boss: [whispering into my coffin] "You haven't submitted your timesheet."
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