It’s a sunny morning, and you arrive at work with a smile on your face. You have a good job, great colleagues, and the company culture is pretty fine. But then you get to your desk, start getting through your e-mails, and your face twists. You realize that your boss has left you to take care of another one or two of those long, annoying, and trivial tasks that would be insignificant even for an intern on their first day. If only they would let up for a minute! But instead of doing that, they keep piling on the pressure until you eventually break down. There is nothing worse than being stuck working for someone that you can’t stand. And if that someone is impossible to please and unreasonable, then it can make life at work very difficult despite all the other good things.
But don’t despair yet! We have collected some of the best boss jokes that are sure to help lighten the mood around the office. These jokes about the boss are sure to lift everyone’s spirit and make you burst out laughing! And if, instead of a horrible boss, you actually have a great director who knows how to take a joke, why don’t you share these ones with them too?
(Disclaimer - We don’t take responsibility if you get fired.)
#101 That Pun Hit Different
I asked my boss if we would ever hire felons to run pipe. He said no, they won't let a conduit.
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#102 When Life Deals You No Cards
My first day at the casino I was late for work, my boss yelled at me, and they put me at a Blackjack table with no cards. I looked at all the players and said "I can't deal with this. "
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#103 Plot Twist: I’m Still Here
I’m not going back to work until my boss takes back what he said… "You’re fired."
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#104 The art of the strategic sick day
I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough."
He exclaimed, "You have a wee cough!?"
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
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#105 Rounding Up the Sheep, Literally
At the end of the day, a border collie reported back to the grazier, "All fifty sheep accounted for, boss!"
"Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.
"I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."
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#106 Bossing myself feels weirdly awesome
I quit my job to start a cloning business and it's been great, I love being my own boss.
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#107 Well, that joke didn’t land—guess I’m Korean for the door
My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes, it was the end of my Korea.
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#108 Chewed Out, Literally
Did you hear about the guy who fell in a vat of gum at the bubblegum factory?
His boss chewed him out.
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#109 Work’s just crushing my spirit
What did the can crusher tell their boss?
I quit. This is soda-pressing.
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#110 Classic “I’ll show you” energy
My boss says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
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#111 Best excuse for a sweet exit
What did the doughnut maker say to their boss?
"I quit because I’m tired of the hole business."
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#112 Classic “Oops, Already Booked” Energy
Unfortunately, my boss said no to my time off request. However, the flight is booked. So I hope she comes up with something.
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#113 Boss energy: truth bombs and stink bombs
So we were working with a new client at work and my boss farts, he said "A little gas never killed anyone."
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#114 Plot twist: Hands-free hustle
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs then he says to his boss "I can't handle all of this."
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#115 Ah yes, virus bedtime rules
"My boyfriend’s boss is scared of getting the coronavirus so naturally she has decided that instead of finishing at 5:30 they will finish at 4:30, because as we all know the coronavirus only comes out after 5."
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#116 Mood swings meet medical drama
"My boss just came in my office and cried because she felt bad for snapping at me today. I work at a hospital how hard is it to get her xans?"
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#117 Guess It’s Time to Aim Elsewhere
The human cannonball retires. After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire. "But you can't!" protested the boss. "Where am I going to find another man of your caliber?"
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#118 Extra can, extra chaos
So, today my boss asked me to pick up 6 cans of Sprite for a meeting. However, when I returned, I realized that I had picked 7 up instead.
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#119 Plot twist: patience pays off?
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
Blonde: "In three months."
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#120 Boss Level: Expert Mode Activated
What are the best ways to be a good boss?
If you’re in charge, ponder. If you’re in doubt, mumble. If you’re in trouble, delegate.
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